Things to be happy about

I'm getting a FANTASTIC new cell phone

I got laid last night

I got laid last night again

According to my budget I'm actually going to have some extra cash on this next paycheck.

My cat is cute

I'm drinking wine

My cold is fading fast

We're about 5 minutes from going out onto the ice

I get New Year's Day off

And good comes of all of this.

Let me just say that for the record the people at Verizon Wireless kick much ass. They're always friendly. They're always helpful.

I lost my cell phone. I think I left it at the house of the woman I did bridal henna at (who, by the way, has the CUTEST damn dog I've ever seen in my life) but she's in Chile on honeymoon right now for who knows how long. I've been drooling over the Motorola T720 for about a month now anyway, so I thought hey what the hell. I knew that we're not eligible for a phone trade-in upgrade until April at the earliest, but I called Verizon anyway to see what sort of deal I could fanagle. And I got a hell of a deal. Rock on.

I'll have a phone again by Friday. Until then I'm going to have to find the charger for my old old phone and see if that still works.

Mood: happy
Listening to: Steely Dan? Something in the living room finding it's way into the office...

December 25th came and went and Dan and I received much toilet paper from my parents. And you think you get boring presents.

I finally saw my nephew, who is approximately the size and shape of a peanut, and all was peaceful in the world for a moment or two.

I got a pile of stuff from Dan's family, which was totally unexpected, and now I feel bad because I didn't get them anything. I'll be going all out for their birthdays, I guess.

I have laryngitis now and I'm not sure if I'll be going to work tomorrow. If I was smart I'd take the day off entirely and not speak all weekend. But I'm also poor, so I don't know.

Mood: sick

GREAT timing.

I came home from work today at 12:30 because I was pretty useless. It started when I got a sore throat last night at work. I was fine one minute and the next it felt like I was swallowing razor blades. I should have gone to bed early last night but Dan and I went out on the ice for a hour and a half. So this morning I took some DayQuil and cough drops and hoped I'd make it until 4:30 but that didn't happen. I felt like my head was a thousand miles away all morning. I drank some coffee to try and shake myself out of it but that just made my heart pound and my body feel even worse. I slept for about four hours when I got home and I think I'll just take a hot shower, watch the Wild game, and go to sleep. I have to get up at 6:00 tomorrow because that bastard mall is open an hour earlier. Urg.

Mood: sick

I'm on a Mexican radio...

Yup, so still no word from the ol' fam. Haven't seen the kid. Haven't talked to his parents. I was invited over by Jules on Saturday to trim the tree and do that sort of thing but when I called to confirm that night she was off getting a massage and never called me back. Dan and I ended up eating an entire rotisserie chicken and watching TV.

I'm actually hoping it gets cold soon. We went out to the giant skating rink across the street on Monday. The ice was good but there were still some dirt patches that were kind of hard to see and caused me to fall on my ass several times. We went out again last night with Scott, who hasn't skated since he was very young, but the ice was mushy. It would break my heart to see the condition of the ice today, as it is warm enough to be outside without a jacket for more than a few seconds.

My body is sore. Dan and I practiced passing and shooting the puck last night and my hands and wrists are killing me. I only fell once last night but my legs, hips, and abdomen are sore. That's okay though; I feel good about it.

I've been spending the day attempting to download some new MP3s. I got "Moment of Forgiveness" by the Indigo Girls and "25 or 6 to 4" by Chicago -- a song that will forever be on repeat in my brain. We have the record but until we can get our dumb receiver to work our speakers put out way too much bass to use with the turntable. And it's just easier to cue up the MP3 on the computer than try and find the right spot to drop the needle on the LP anyway.

I'm still battling the dread UTI and I've only got one and a half days' worth of Cipro left. That means I'll probably have to go back to the clinic for more tests or whatever. ARGH! It's not easy to be horny and sick at the same time.

Mood:
Listening to: Bad Religion - Broken

Hmm...

So I'm sitting here wondering if I'm actually part of my family anymore. That sounds terribly selfish given the circumstances, but I don't care. Nobody told me that Shannon was in the hospital to begin with. I had to hear it from my stepmom's business partner as "Oh by the way, Jules isn't coming to the art show today because your sister-in-law's water broke and she's in the hospital."

Okay, whatever. But then I call my brother on Tuesday to ask if my nephews liked hockey or not. He didn't even begin to mention the fact that Shannon was going to be delivering their third child later that night.

So last night I get a call from Jules that was basically "oh by the way, Shannon had the baby." She actually said, "I was wondering, 'did anyone call Jenn about this?'"

NO, nobody called Jenn about this.

Mood: hurt
Listening to: Vivaldi's Four Seasons - Autumn

Auntie Jenn Mark III

My brother's wife is in the hospital. Their new son is also in the hospital. The baby wasn't due until the end of January, but Shannon's water broke on Sunday. They put her on steroids and anti labor meds for 48 hours because the baby's lungs aren't developed yet and she delivered Tuesday night. So hi there, Jaden (Jadyn? Jadin?) William. Welcome to the world.

I'm eagerly awaiting the downloads of all the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials. I'm trying to make myself feel better and forget about the UTI That Wouldn't Die. It's back. Only a month has passed since the last one. I don't get it. I shower daily. I wipe front to back. I clean my vibrators. Anal sex isn't even in our sexual vocabulary. WHY GODS, WHY?

Excuse me while I drink a gallon of cranberry juice now.

Mood: sick
Listening to: Chevelle - The Red

I got my hat! I'm very excited about this hat. I've been drooling over it ever since it arrived at work. Oh, and if you're wondering, that's the California Golden Seals / Oakland Seals. It confused the hell out of us. Their logo still looks like a fishing lure to me.

On an alternate note, it still amazes me that people - businesses - are still using interlaced JPGs on their websites. STOP IT!

Mood:
Listening to: CSNY - Wooden Ships

The past few days have been full of crazies.

I encountered my first closetalker. I thought hey, maybe she's just drunk. But no. I kept moving backward and she just kept following me around with her closetalkingness.

Then there's this guy I worked with yesterday. I've worked with him before, but never in the close quarters of a kiosk. He's one of those Uncomfortable Pause Guys. You know, the kind where they'll say something to you and you'll answer and think the subject is closed but he'll just stare at you and make you wonder if he just asked you a question that you missed and is waiting for a response. Creepy. I'm glad I got out of there early.

I worked a poorly advertised art show all weekend and made around $50. Eh.

Post of the day

This made me smile.

It's a sad, sad life.

You know your life has become dull when you get excited about the Pattersons' new rabbit.

An Open Letter to Everyone Who Is Cranky Today (i.e.: everyone I have come into contact with today)

Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I finally have a day where I'm not overly tired or cranky or moody at all and suddenly the whole world is in a bad mood. I'm not going to be anyone's ray of sunshine anymore today. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm tired of trying to make everybody else feel better about themselves. I'm the one who should be in a bad mood; I'm having my period. Fuck all of you. Fuck.

Mood:
Listening to: Faith No More - Last Cup of Sorrow

Do I smell?

I've always wondered if I exude some sort of anti-people vibe or something. I'm a nice person. Really. It's interesting to see the reactions of people I encounter at work change from "what a freak!" to "geez, she's really sweet."

But I've never been good at making friends. I'm not exactly a cunning conversationalist, but I can manage if I have a strong conversational partner.

Real life is one thing, but I really start to wonder when I'm online. Every forum I post in, ever chatroom I visit, every avatar-based world I participate in ends up the same. I try to make conversation, people ignore or dismiss me. Case in point. I'm not venting this to be all "woe is me" or anything, It just makes me wonder.

Do I come off too strong? Too weak? Do I seem bitchy? I wish someone would just fucking tell me so I can get on with my life.

Mood: confused

It's Sunday

and I have to go to work in a few minutes. This is wrong. Retail is so wrong.

Mood: tired

Now don't get me wrong: I've always said that lyrics aren't the most important thing about a song, and the reason I say that is because I don't want to be one of those preachy, self-righteous, 'my-messages-are-so-deep' kind of songwriters, 'cause I hate that crap, you know? You know, the 'let's-sit-at-an-outside-cafe' and smoke unfiltered cigarettes and have another mocha and talk about how 'I'm-an-artist-and-nobody-understands-me' kind of bullshit. I mean Jeez Louise, that stuff irritates me to no end.
-Dexter Holland, on the Offspring song "Staring At The Sun"

I'm in love all over again. But I won't go into detail about that dream I had about Dexter the other night...

Mood: naughty
Listening to: Grady's mewing

Lineage

I haven't visited HalfKorean.com in a while. I wonder if I should submit a picture of myself for their archive. I wonder who the pictures are for: people who aren't half Korean wondering what half Koreans look like or half Koreans wondering what other half Koreans look like. I have to admit, it's very odd seeing other living, breathing half Koreans. In Minnesota there are entire large communities where Korean immigrants and their families settle, but seeing a half-n-half like myself is extremely rare. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen more than one. There was this girl, Annie I think, who was the daughter of Suk, a good friend of my mom's. I haven't seen her since my mom was alive, almost 13 years ago.

Google searches

Who are all these people who have come to my page via a Google search for "webcam +sneezing"? Why are you searching for such a thing? Wierdos.

Bwa ha ha! Someone else noticed it too!

The best song ever written

is "The Devil Went Down To Georgia." No question.

D-day approaches.

I have to learn how to cook a turkey dinner in less than two days. Great. And we still don't have a table. Anyone in the Twin Cities area have a spare table they'd like to get rid of for about $100?

Mood: worried
Listening to: A-Ha - Take On Me

Sleep is weird.

I dreamed of storms last night. It was probably a combination of reading American Gods and the new Twilight Zone episode last night. I dreamed of tornados -- a reoccurring theme in my nighmares -- and a strange break in the chaos. I dreamed of a thunderbird. She looked like great white crane with long red feathers on her head and a beautiful Chinese woman in a flowing white dress with red feathers in her hair at the same time. You know how dream logic is. She flew through the air of my parents' neighborhood and whenever her wings/arms flapped thunder and lightning crashed. And she looked at me, I think, and I feel like I should remember why. I'm trying to draw a picture of her but it's too hard.

Too many cupcakes and cookie bars before bed last night for sure.

Mood: confused
Listening to: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Breaking the Girl

I will sit here.

I have read Nowhere Girl again and I like it. I feel great having accomplished what I set out to accomplish today. I have new tabs on my car (only a month late this time!) and I changed the address on my driver's license. I'm a little freaked out because I didn't have to take a new picture for my new license. That means that in true Big Brother fashion my face is in some database in some computer on some scary government intranet. I half expect them to announce tomorrow that we all need to go in and get our social security number barcodes tattoed on our necks.

Mood: okay
Listening to: Dinosaur Jr. - Feel The Pain

Finally!

Today is like Friday for me. I actually get two days off in a row! Yay! Maybe we'll go and see the Wild game tonight.

Mood: relieved
Listening to: Seal - Kiss From A Rose

Whoo

Bob finds all the fun stuff on the Internet.

a - age: 22
b - best quality: Peacemaker.
c - choice of meat: Prime rib. Medium. With garlic butter sauce.
d - dream date: Ranma from Ranma 1/2. A bisexual's dream! ^_^
e - ex (most recent): Somebody who has a whole lot of issues.
f - favorite food: Prime rib. Medium. With garlic butter sauce.
g - greatest accomplishment: Hasn't happened yet.
h - happiest day of your life: Couldn't tell you.
i - internal conflicts: I'm one big walking internal conflict.
j - jam or jelly: Jam, because it doesn't look like something you'd find in a petri dish.
k - Kool-Aid: Tropical Punch!
l - love: Dan, the cats, the dog
m - most valued thing I own: My mother's rhinestone jewelry.
n - name: Pick one.
o - outfit you love: Sleeveless t-shirt or black wifebeater, comfy jeans or guy shorts.
p - pizza toppings: Onion, green pepper, sausage
q - question you want to ask: What is so hard about peace that people just don't get it?
r - most radical thing you've done: Shaved my head.
s - sport to watch: Hockey! (Ice)
t - television show: Digimon. I guess.
u - unique habit: I don't know.
v - very favorite verb: "Fucking." It's such a useful word.
w - winter: Snow is pretty. For about two minutes. Give me beaches and 80 degrees 365 days a year.
x - x-rays you have had: Teeth, leg, chest
y - yesterday's best meal: A turkey hot dog and Pringles prepared by Dan.
z - zodiac sign: Pisces.

Mood: good
Listening to: Seal - Kiss From A Rose

Santa drives an old brown minivan.

I saw him leaving the mall at the same time I did. And he still looked jolly driving away in his rusty, weathered sleigh.

Mood: depressed
Listening to: myself chew

Observation:

It's amazing how some guys can wear a kilt and pull it off so well.

Work it, boys!

Mood: On the verge of hysteria
Listening to: That weird vein in my head pulsing

Unrequited lust

Mood: sad
Listening to: Madonna - This Used To be My Playground

I'm feeling much better now.

I'm still a bit tender around the bladder region, but all of the other hellish symptoms are gone. I was really skeptical about only being on Cipro for three days. Every other time I've needed meds I've been told I need to take them UNTIL THE END OF TIME HA HA HA HA! Well, I don't need to go through what I went through when I had an H. Pylori infection ever again. Pray you don't get that, gentle readers.

Now for something completely different. I was attempting to make something bruchetta-like to go with our spaghetti the other night and came up with an amazingly simple winner. We haven't gone shopping in a little while due to money issues and we're getting pretty scanty on food so I didn't have a lot to work with. I took some english muffin toasting bread and spread some melted butter on it. I spread a generous amount of pesto and sprinkled parmesan on top of that. It went in the toaster oven for one and a half cycles on "dark" and out came this wonderful salty artery-clogging toast. It was better than the spaghetti.

Mood: good
Listening to: Madonna - Music

Either I am excessively emotional today or this is the saddest thing I've read in a long time:

DEAR ABBY: I enlisted shortly after Pearl Harbor. Thirty-six days later, I was on my way to the Philippines. En route, the Philippines fell to the Japanese, and we were routed to Australia. Eleven days after we landed, I met the most beautiful girl in the world.

On our first date, I told her I was going to marry her. I did, 18 months later, while on a 10-day R-and-R leave from New Guinea.

After more than 57 years of marriage and two children, my beloved "Mary" died five days before Christmas. Although we agreed that our ashes were to be scattered over the mountains, I found I could not part with hers.

While Mary was alive, she would frequently say, "You don't know how much I love you." I'd reply, "Likewise." I never said, "I love you." Now her ashes are on my dresser, where I tell her several times a day how much I love her, but it's too late. Although I wrote poetry to her, I could not bring myself to say the three words I knew she wanted most to hear.

As my dearest was dying and we thought she was comatose, I told her, "There aren't enough words to tell you how much I love you." A few hours later, she whispered, "Not enough words" and died.

The reason I'm writing is to urge men to express their feelings while their loved ones are alive. I don't know why, but many men are reluctant to express the depth of their feelings. -- MISSING MARY IN COLORADO

Mood: sad
Listening to: Tori Amos - Jackie's Strength

Well, look who's "gifted."

According to this site's IQ test I'm "gifted" ("for the sole purpose of intellectual stimulation, education and general knowledge"). Lookee lookee, I'm 158.

Dude, IQ tests don't go that high. I'd be, like, a triple genious or something.

Mood: tired

By the way...

How in the blue fuck do you pronounce "L'engle"?

Read Read Read Read Read

In the past three days I have polished off A Wind In The Door and A Swiftly Tilting Planet, both by Madeline L'engle. Okay, so I did feel a little dorky picking out books from the juvinele fiction section of the library, but I feel very rewarded by it. I didn't even know that there were followups to A Wrinkle In Time until a few months ago, and never even thought to search them out at the library until I happened to be wandering through the fiction section and noticed L'ENGLE on the spine of a book. I'm immensely happy about finally getting myself a library card. I don't know why I ever spent so much money actually buying books before. Duh.

There are several books that I NEED to own, however. I've felt lost ever since my set of the Chronicles of Narnia disappeared. I really want a nice hardcover set of those -- something that I can pass down to ... whoever. And now that I'm on the L'engle track, I'd like to own all of her Wrinkle-related books as well.

It's back to the library tomorrow before work so I have something to read while I'm there. I checked out the Tao Te Ching but I found that it was much too hard to concentrate on cryptic ancient Chinese philosophy in the middle of a mall. I need more fiction. It's actually been a very, very long time since I read any fiction before this week. It's been religion this and philosophy that and paranormal here and sociology there. It's funny, I have this intense hunger for knowledge but I hate being taught by anyone. That's why I'm doing so well with my correspondence course and why I sucked so bad at "real" college. I think it's because I have a power complex. Really. I have to be in control of a situation and myself at all times or I go nuts.

Hm... off to update my Amazon.com wishlist.

Mood: smart

Satan strikes again

We didn't have a phone line yesterday. Grr.

But it seems to be fixed now. Obviously. I've been a bit lax on blog entries lately but I have two excuses: work and a UTI.

Ow.

Mood: sick
Listening to: the wind

It's funny 'cause it's true.

What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thoughts from work - originally written 11/07/02

Disclaimer for this blog entry: I'm no fashion diva, but I know what looks goofy.

It has probably been said before but the athletic shoe industry is either completely insane or has a sick, sadistic sense of humor. There's got to be a bunch of guys sitting around a bong over at Nike going, "hey, let's see how many idiots will wear this!" I mention this because I work at two fairly upscale, white-collar malls and I get to see all sorts of ways rich folks waste their money. I just saw some kid shuffle by with what appeared to be high end Nike moon boots. Or really poofy hightops. Are hightops making a comeback? Who said that would be allright?

THOUGHT: right, you look so hard with your skinny white arms sticking out of your Timberwolves jersey, kid.

Seriously, are Zubas making a comeback in the Latin-American male fashion scene?

Who else can I pick on? How about those teenage girls with slits in the bottoms of their pants that make their pant legs flop all over the place? Are they trying to show off their ankles? Are ankles sexy?

Fashion item that needs to go away once and for all: denim jackets.

One of the kiosks I work at is directly outside of Abercrombie and Fitch. The display windows are filled with very large pictures of some young beefcake weraing what look like red reindeer swimming trunks (on top of boxer shorts no less). Red shorts with little white reindeer. That should be in itself very funny. But in one of the pictures beefcake is standing there in the comical shorts with a Santa hat on his heat half naked looking like he's attending a funeral. It's surreal. Speaking of Abercrombie and Fitch, they blare the most obnoxious crap all day long. I get to hear this bizarre mix of "mall music" (a tiny stop up from Lite FM) and techno remixes of pop songs.

basshihatbasshihatbasshihat Can you hear me basshihatbasshihatbasshihat Can you hear me running... basshihatbasshihatbasshihat

Fucking strange.

I also work directly across from this towering edifice of folk-based commercialism, a two story giant red and green Santa house. It was here before Halloween. Remember what you wouldn't see any holiday merchandise until the day after Thanksgiving? Good times. Sensible times.

Thanksgiving. Yikes. It's only a few weeks away. Dan and I are having it at our new place this year. I extended the invitation to my parents knowing full well what their answer would be. Dan said, "maybe they can just come over for dessert." I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. My parents visit their children's homes? Pshhh. Right. If that ever happens, look out folks, 'cause the end of the would is nigh. Okay, not going to talk any more about my parents. It's just plain unhealthy.

Back. Finally.

AARRRGH! I've been without an Internet connection since 10/27/02. Qwest (the "new" Qwest) is more Satan than ever. So here's what happened:
I called them up last week days before we moved to let them know to stop service there on the 31st and start it up at the new place the same day. We move. Days pass. I call them up on Monday and ask what the fuck because we still didn't have a phone line. They told me that we were scheduled to have everything installed on Tuesday. Tuesday goes by, still no line. I call back Tuesday night just before they close and ask WHAT THE FUCK? It seems that the previous tenents never disconnected their service and their line was actually shut off due to nonpayment. The customer service person asked, "did anyone tell you this yesterday?" NO, nobody told me or Dan or anyone else for that matter. So can't you just shut their line off and start ours up? No, they reply, your landlord has to call us and tell us to shut it off. OKAY, FINE. So I call up Butch (yes, our landlord's name is Butch. Cool.) and ask him to call Satan, I mean Qwest, which he does right away -- bless the man. I call Qwest back a little later and ask so NOW what the fuck? How long until we get a phone line? "I can schedule you for Friday." AAAARGH!

Meanwhile I have no idea if customers have tried to place orders or contact me with questions. The "new" Qwest doesn't seem to give a shit. So today is Friday, November 8, and we JUST got our phone line. How do I get in on that Qwest lawsuit? Did I mention that I was charged for three months of Qwest internet access after I cancelled it? Hate them. Hate them bad.

Enough of this. What else has happened in the past more-than-a-week? We moved, as I mentioned, and our new place is splendid. It has its problems, as all apartments do (especially in buildings built close to 70 or 80 years ago) but we have all this space now! I have an office! We have a clawfoot tub! And a three season porch! On a busline! Rock.

I started working at Southdale which, for those of you not familiar with the Twin Cities, is the most white-collar, super-affluent shopping mall in the state unless you count the Galleria, which is right next door. The place sickens me. The next entry will be from what I wrote while working yesterday. I could go on and on about the little rich bastards running around with daddy's credit card or the rich bastard middle-agers who think their shit don't stink so damn much that they can't even say "hi" back or make the slightest acknowledgement of the wretched mall employees (i.e.: me) who are OBVIOUSLY so beneath them. Rich pricks.

Vent

So I took a deep breath today and called my dad to ask him if he'd pay my car insurance for a few months until I get back on my feet. It's the same thing every time. The belittling, the guilt trips, me crying, yadda yadda. I worked out a huge rant meant for him that I'll never have the cojones to use. So I'm going to put it here and get it out of my system. I'll try to refrain from allcaps as much as possible. Ahem.

Yes, dad, I know how much of a loser I am. I dropped out of college, took an MCSE course and never went to work in the IT industry, and now I'm working in a mall kiosk. I'm a BIG FUCKING LOSER and I guess that means I need to get down on my knees and beg you for help. So here I am, I'm begging. You don't need to tell me how stupid or irresponsible or worthless I am, because I'm saying it right now. I KNOW. No amount of insults, no matter how much you try to hide them in your guilt trips, will ever, EVER come close to making me feel as bad as I make myself feel. I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back. I'm not fucking psychic and I don't plan my life around the unlikely event that I will a) win a large amount of cash or b) be handed a suitcase full of a large amount of cash that isn't connected with the Mafia. All I know is that I'm going to work hard to dig myself out of this hole I'm in and someday I'll be able to hand you a wad of bills and wipe myself clean of your condescension. But as of right now I'm still a BIG FUCKING LOSER.

Mood: fuming

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Sen. Wellstone Killed in Minnesota Plane Crash

I have now entered the Twilight Zone.

GRRRR

I have come to the conclusion that everyone driving in the greater Twin Cities area has their left hand lodged firmly up their own asses, as NOBODY uses their turn signal.

Mood: angry

a ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba-ba-ba

Paula Abdul was hot. She still is after all these years. Arsenio Hall, on the other hand, never was.

You know the connection. That's right. You big dork.

Mood: weird
Listening to: Straight Up

On the side of the road...

I have long been fascinated by medical anomalies. I loved the movie Freaks. I've spent hours poring over pictures and articles trying to understand what life (and death) is like for people "born different." To my glee I discovered that you can take those single shoes and gloves whose mates are long lost and donate them to help amputees and the like.

Contact:

Amputee Shoe and Glove Exchange
1635 Harwickshire Drive
Houston, TX 77077

National Odd Shoe Exchange
7102 N. 35th Ave., Suite 2
Phoenix, AZ 85051
(602) 841-6691

One Shoe Crew
86 Clavela Avenue
Sacramento, CA 95828-4647
(916) 364-7463

Mood: awake
Listening to: Dan snore

Bartering rocks.

And Blair at Xtension Generation rocks as well. Today she traded me some henna work for three hair extensions. Next week she's going to cut my hair and put some more extensions in for a Egyptian neckpiece. ROCK!

Mood: yay!
Listening to: Nelly Furtado - Turn Out The Lights

Stuff I wrote at work

I remember being teenager, though it wasn't so long ago, and I'm thankful I have the clarity to see how fucking moronic I was. I was one of those people just left of center. Sorta goth, sorta grunge, sorta hardcore, sorta plain. I was just slightly askew of my friends, who were quite "normal" by any standard. I had acquaintances of all types: quiet church-goers, theater dorks, band geeks, suicidal goths, stupid jocks, boy-crazy party girls. I pretended to be interested in a lot of things just like everybody else.
"Who's your favorite poet?"
"Poe!"
"Do you like the Doors?"
"Jim Morrison was a god!"

I started figuring things out around the middle of my first year of college. The ridiculousness of it all really sunk in and started almost making me sick. The fog began to lift. Now when I read things like Nietzsche and Jung it's not because I want to impress anybody or it makes me gother than thou, I genuinely hold interest in sociology and parapsychology. These days I'd hang out in graveyards to take electromagnetic readings of ghostly phenomenon, not to write poetry about the futility of life.

The fog is still lifting on a lot of subjects, but I think I'm starting to get the idea on this whole life thing.

Mood:
Watching: Tonight Show

Wheeeee! Retail.

Guys wearing too much patchouli: 1
Under-the-table propositions received: 1
Obnoxious children: 8
Guys obviously at the mall the pick up chicks: 7
Whitecollar yuppie nulear families: 16
Mullets: 0
Sad, lonely old men: 4
People who snuck up on my blind side: 3
Small girls with cowboy belt buckles: 1
People who called me "ma'am": 1

Daytime advertising

Damn you, National American University. Damn your annoying TV commercial.

I'm thinking about doing a webcomic. More accurately, I've been thinking about doing one for quite some time. I'm not sure if I'm quite prepared for the amount of hate mail and "u dont know how 2 drawr anime im more l33t than j00" bullshit. And I'm really not sure how well I'd be able to keep up with the drawing. I've got all sorts of scripts and backgrounds and ideas in a notebook already. So I don't know what I'm going to do. It's something that keeps me occupied at work right now.

Mood: tired, again
Listening to: TV, again

More strange Google searches ending here

doom gay
doom mood commodore

Today there was some sort of "most beautiful baby" pagent/contest at the mall. I had to listen to things like, "Zoe is ten pounds, five ounces and likes to play with her teddy bear. Her newest discovery is the size of her hands!"

Just kill me now.

At least, that's what I was thinking at the time. It got me thinking, what exactly are the judges' criteria for judging a baby? Amount of drool? Head floppiness?

Mood: confused
Listening to: TV

It's really creepy when someone says, "I know someone who looks just like you!" I can't really wrap my head around the fact that there's another pseudo-me wandering around out there.

Mood: too damn tired to write anything
Listening to: TV

Friday Five

1. How many TVs do you have in your home?
Two.

2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week?
Five or six hours. Maybe.

3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children?
Depends on what and how much.

4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken?
None. Nothing. There are a few shows I'm ecstatic about if I do happen to catch them, like Digimon and ER.

5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like?
Anime! Loony Toons! Anime! Loony Toons! Indy cartoons! Loony Toons!

Fun with Site Meter

People have reached this page via:
Google search for happy formica
Google search for o'melveny law fun

What color...

...should I dye my hair next? I think I'll stick with the bleach/Tiger Lily treatment.

Mood:
Listening to: Vivaldi - Four Seasons: Autumn

Kawaii!

Hey look, it's Jammin' Eddie!

NANTS inGONyama baGIthi baba!

Damn you, Ra! I had to go dig up my Lion King CD,

I finally found complete lyrics to Circle of Life. Kick ass.

Mood: nostalgic
Listening to: Lion King Soundtrack - Be Prepared

Another one for the "why didn't I think of that?" file

Police Banners

I'll never understand college kids.

Here's an idea of what the typical booth hawker hears at the typical Golden Gophers football game at the Metrodome:

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Or, alternately,

GO GOPHERS! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Note to self: next time bring a bottle of water and snacks. And earplugs.

Seriously though, it felt good to be working again. I haven't been on my feet for 6.5 hours in a long time. Ouch. Gotta wear my knee brace on Saturday. I'm working at a mall kiosk then, and I imagine it won't be nearly as exciting as the Dome.

Whoo.

Whee!

I'm getting drunk on a very small amount of vodka because I haven't eaten anything all day. Really. I had a few bites of ramen at about 12:45 this afternoon. I'm not hungry. Those pills I'm taking must be working. Yay!

I should eat something.

Mood: tired
Listening to: Tori Amos

Here we go...

I'm working at the Metrodome tonight. I was hoping I'd be working a Twins game, but it seems they're in California tonight. Bah.

Mood: nervous
Listening to: nothing

The table is formica.

Weird! My old roommate from River Falls contacted me through my old LiveJournal. I haven't thought about her in a long time, and I feel kind of bad about that.

Paraphrased actual conversation:
PPC: I haven't talked to any of my college friends in a long time. It's weird. Jason and I used to be best friends.
Dan: Well, Jason's too busy being gay these days.
PPC: This is true.

I thought I saw Briana at the Social Distortion show, but I could have been mistaken. But Alissa -- it's been a long time.

Mood: shocked
Listening to: Grady whorking up a hairball

We're really in Uptown now

We said we weren't going to make any snap decisions on an apartment, but we decided to take the second one we looked at tonight. It's a fairly large 2 bedroom with a screened-in porch. They're probably going to redo the kitchen this winter, which is always good. Two bedrooms! Yay! I can have my office at last. :D

Mood: happy
Listening to: Nothing.

I've had a rough morning

But at least my spirits are up. I woke up a million times last night. I didn't sleep well at all. I kept thinking Dan was talking to me but I was in this weird half-conscious dreaming state. THAT was annoying. I got up at 6:00 because I was just up. Then I was sick. Really sick. I was in and out of the bathroom, drooling because I was nauseous, leaving horrible things in my wake. I think my stomach is bleeding again. The very thought of food still makes me sick.

Then when I was opening up a new bar of soap a piece flew up and landed in my eye. I got it out right away, but it stung like crazy and now I can't focus my eyes. But hey, at least I didn't cut myself shaving my legs for once.

My heartburn has been so bad today I had to break down and take an Aciphex. Hasn't kicked in yet. Stomach hurts. And I'm dizzy.

And yet, strangely, I'm in a good mood.

I called a bunch of apartments this morning and set up some appointments for the next two days. It's going to be a busy week. I start working on Wednesday. Yay! Maybe that's why I'm in such a fantastic mood.

I know I should go to the doctor soon, but I don't have any money. Yet. Wonder if I have an ulcer.

Mood:
Listening to:

No. Well...........no.

Exhibitionist Porno
What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

The most exhibitionist thing I would be willing to do would be to leave the blinds open just a little. Oh well, that's web quizzes for you.

Am I sad or what?

I'm going to sit here, drink myself happy, and listen to my Goofy Pop playlist. It's my Friday and I can do whatever I want. :P



Mood: silly
Listening to: Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca

Now that's just mean.

The Pop-Up Book of Phobias

More journal stalking joy

~ Past ~
First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Monson
Last word you said: Nice! (Little Monsters is going to be on TV tomorrow. :D)
Last song you sang: Probably a Bad Religion song

~ Present ~
What's in your CD player: Who Moved My Cheese?
What's under your bed?: Our mattress is sitting directly on the floor
What time did you wake up today?: My alarm went off a 9:00 but I didn't get out of bed until 12:30.

~ Future ~
Where do you want to go: Everywhere.
Where are you going to live: Probably in Minnesota.
How many kids do you want: 2. Maybe.
What kind of car will you have: Ford Ranger

~ Current ~
Current mood: Hopeful
Current music: Punk, alternative, hardcore
Current taste: Prime rib, medium
Current hair: Long, curly, changes colors frequently
Current clothes: Varies
Current annoyance: People who lack common sense
Current smell: Lilacs, Oui (purfume by Lancome)
Current longing: To be debt-free, to own a house
Current desktop picture: The City Could Not Stop
Current crush: Besides Dan? Edward Norton and Vin Diesel
Current time-wasting wish: Sit in bed and watch movies
Current hate: The lack of gay rights -- and human rights in general -- in the world today

~ You ~
What does your (nick)name mean: Guido - it's from Ren & Stimpy. A relic from 7th grade.
How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?): Somewhere between 10 and 40
Describe yourself in 5 words: Short, scattered, odd, duelistic, wanting
What are your worst qualities: I tend to take too much on, I'm horrible at making conversation, I'm too brutally honest.

~ Sleep ~
Do you dream at night?: Yes
Do you remember your dreams?: Usually when sex is involved
What time do you wake up on weekends?: Between 10 and 1
Do you sleep with one pillow or two?: Two

~ School ~
Did you like school?: Not at all.
Why/why not?: Kids are cruel.
Most hated subject?: Math
Did you have a fave teacher?: Probably, but I can't remember much of school.
Ever had a crush on a teacher?: There was this hot social studies teacher in high school, but I never had him.

~ Friends ~
Do you have heaps of friends?: More acquaintences than friends.
Do you have a best friend?: Yes.
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?: I know more guys than girls.
Do you ever get annoyed at any friend?: Yes.
Have you ever lied to a friend?: Probably.
Have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?: Absolutely not.

~ Family ~
Do you like your parents?: Working on it.
Ever run away from home?: Not for more than a few hours.
Ever thought about it?: Yes.
Do you have any siblings?: One brother and one sister-in-law
Do you feel your parents spoil you?: Spoil me? No. Bail me out? Yes.
Do you not get along with any of your family?: No.
Do you go to big family get-togethers ever?: Always.

~ Morals ~
Have you ever been drunk?: Yes.
Taken drugs?: No.
Stolen?: I hope not.
Shoplifted?: No.
Gotten into a fight?: Yes. On the bus in elementary school.
Fist fight?: No.
Are you more innocent or guilty?: Innocent.
Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict?: I dated two guys who used to be drug addicts.
Do you have an open or closed mind to other people's beliefs and feelings?: Wide open.

~ Music ~
What's your fave style of music?: Alternative of the 90's
Do you play an instrument?: I used to play the french horn, piano, and guitar. I might be able to play the french horn again.
Do you sing?: Yes. I guess.
What's your fave band?: Offspring
Name 3 CDs that you've bought in the last month: Why buy when there's MP3s?
Why did you buy them?: N/A

~ Personality ~
Are you funny or serious?: Funny
Logical thinker or lateral thinker?: Logical
Are you outgoing or shy?: Shy, but not painfully so.
Are you lazy or active?: Active
Have you ever been hyperactive?: No
Are you a naturally hyperactive person?: No

~ Looks ~
Are you happy with the way you look?: I guess.
What would you change?: My weight. And I'd like to get dred extensions.
Do you wear makeup regularly?: Rarely
Do you have a large wardrobe?: If you count the number of t-shirts.

~ Embarrassing moments ~
Your all time most embarrassing moment?: I have no idea.
Have you ever snorted a drink out your nose?: Probably.
Ever giggled like an idiot?: All the time.
Ever embarrassed yourself and pretended nothing happened: I hope not.
Ever tripped in front of someone you liked?: Probably.
Ever said something really stupid?: On a daily basis.
Ever fallen off a bed?: Yes.
Ever sleepwalked?: Once.
Ever sleep talked?: I've been told I mumble and moan a lot.

~ Memories ~
What's your best memory?: Being in Guam.
Worst?: My mother's death.
Do you have a good memory?: What was the question again?

Why do I live here? Oh, that's right.

I think I heard on the radio or TV some guy saying that Minnesota may have cold winters, but at least we don't have mudslides, hurricanes, or tropical storms. Yeah..... yeah! That's right!

I'm going to go huddle by my radiator now.

Mood: cold
Listening to: the news

I like the one about the Texan better.

World's funniest joke named

Gosh darn!

I've been trying to swear less. Swearing is a habit I picked up in college. I never, ever did before then. So when something bad happens I find myself thinking, "crikey!"

Crikey?

I don't even have cable. I don't watch the Crocodile Hunter. I don't even particularily like Australian accents.

Mood: tired
Listening to: Tori Amos - Raspberry Swirl

Aaaaaaaaa-ah!

I haven't been by Que Sera Sera in a while. I found my new favorite thing:

Viking Kittens!

Mood: indescribable
Listening to: Phil Collins - I Wish It Would Rain Down

What?

Somebody got to my page by a Google search on "digestive fun page."

Sounds like a party to me!

Mood: amused
Listening to: Phil Collins - I Don't Care Anymore

New link

Thanks, MorningStar!

Dodged that bullet.

I thought I was going to have to move in with my parents for a while there. But Dan, hero of my life and wind beneath my wings, got me a job at his company and I start next week. YAY!

Jules is going to try to get me a part time position at Apple Valley Medical Center as well, which would score some serious points when I'm ready to take a vet assisting job.

I don't have to pray for terminal illness anymore! Yay!

Mood: happy
Listening to: Sara McLachlan - Possession

I need all the luck I can get, little cat.

Humane Society of the US

Andhewaslikeohmygodwheeee!

I signed up for a brand new Yahoo account because my current one gets close to 300 pieces of spam every day and that's far too infuriating to deal with anymore, especially since the Yahoo mail Spamguard is worthless. Now every day when I sign on to My Yahoo and look at the Inbox preview I see Your Inbox is empty. This fills me with more joy than I am willing to admit. I think I'll just horde that email addy like a state secret for a while just so I can see that empty box staring at me on a daily basis.

I'm sad, I know.

This brings me waaaay back to when I first discovered the Internet, or at least Compuserve. Back when I was 70264,51. The only people online were geeks, technical businesspeople, and pilots. Nearly everyone typed with beautiful proper grammer. Things written without punctuation and capital letters were few and far between. And at that tender age of 14 the world opened up to me.

I used to visit chat rooms in several different Compuserve forums (SciFi & Fantasy, WorldsAway, Graphics). Chat rooms. What a concept! I would type something on my computer and somewhere thousands of miles away it would appear on someone else's screen! And they could type back to me! I remember the first time I saw a smiley. I was somewhere on the Compuserve CB, sort of a proprietary IRC, and people kept typing this mysterious colon-closing parenthesis combination. "Look at it sideways :)" someone said to me. The wonder!

I kept finding new things. IRC. Usenet. Telnet. BBS. FTP. AOL. Avatar-based chat. Then came the WWW. My first webpage. Java. Flash. Online shopping. Streaming audio and video. MP2. MP3. Failed ideas like VRML.

I have to wonder if there's anything left.

Mood: nostalgic
Listening to: Deva Premal - Gayatri Mantra

Today sucked.

It really did. It was one long anxiety attack after another. Muscle tension, hot & cold swings, and a restless mind. I've been trying everything to calm down. Meditation helped for about 10 minutes. Tea was ineffectual. I just took a bath, but I can feel my muscles starting to do that buzzing thing again. I'm going to have to take some Ny-Quil or something.

Mood: crappy
Listening to: the dove.

By the way...

I offer to you my resume in case you have a job to offer me.

EDUCATION

1992 - 1995 Nicollet Junior High School
Burnsville, MN

1995 - 1998 Burnsville Senior High School
Burnsville, MN

1996 - 1997 Dakota County Technical College
Rosemount, MN
Secondary Graphic Communications
* Studied and received hands-on experience in electronic desktop publishing, design, and printing.

1997 - 1998 Dakota County Technical College
Rosemount, MN
Secondary Animal Science
* Studied and received hands-on experience in the care, handling, biology, and use of several species of large and small animals.

1998 - 1999 University of Wisconsin - River Falls
River Falls, WI
Biology, Art
* Studied general education subjects such as biology, chemistry, English, drawing, and others. Began studies within the majors of biology and art.

Oct 2000 - Jan 2001 Dakota County Technical College
Eagan, MN
Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer Program
* Completed training in Microsoft Windows 2000 server and client software in preparation for the MCSE certification exam.

2002 - Present Thompson Education Direct
Veterinary Assisting
* Currently taking a home course to become a veterinary assistant.



WORK EXPERIENCE

Jun 96 - Dec 97 Pet Outfitters
Burnsville, MN
Sales, customer service, animal care
* Assisted customers in their purchases, advised new and current pet owners, responsible for the appearance of the store, responsible for the care and maintenance of small animals, reptiles, birds, insects, and aquatic life.

1996 - present Self-employed
Burnsville, MN
Web designer, HTML consultant, desktop publisher
* Advise HTML novices in the construction, design, and maintenance of web pages, design and maintain web pages for customers, design a variety of documents using desktop publishing software.

Aug 97 - Sep 98 Funcoland
Burnsville, MN
Game Advisor, sales representative, keyholder
* Handled sales of new and used video games and accessories, assisted customers in making choices about video games and systems, tracked inventory, maintained the appearance of the store. Responsible for opening, closing, and security of store.

Oct 98 - Dec 98 St. Croix Meadows Greyhound Racing Park
Hudson, WI
Dog lead-out
* Handled dogs pre- and post-race, responsible for health and safety of dogs during races, maintained the professional image of the company during shows.

Sep 98 - May 99 University of Wisconsin - River Falls
River Falls, WI
Parker Hall recycling representative
* Encouraged Parker Hall residents to recycle, managed Parker Hall's recycling room, responsible for the pickup and retrieval of recycling containers.

Jan 99 - Jan 00 Chartwells
River Falls, WI
Student employee, foodservice employee
* Responsible for opening and closing of restaurant, prepared food for restaurant and catering, responsible for maintaining cleanliness and proper food handling. Managed stock and supplies for one half of the restaurant.

Jun 99 - June 00 Express Personnel Services
River Falls, WI; Eagan, MN
Temporary worker
* Worked for many different manufacturing companies, including a finishing and packaging company, a cookie company, and an assembly company. Responsibilities were many and varied, including maintaining cleanliness and food safety, packaging cookies and finished parts, assembling car safety kits, and picking and shipping orders.

Jun 00 - Jul 02 American Specialty Confections
Eagan, MN
Account Services Team Leader, Information Technology
* Responsibilities included maintaining good customer communications in all facets of the manufacturing and packaging of their orders, interpreting reports, researching, designing and implementing new, more efficient policies and procedures in the Account Services and Information Technology departments, accounts receivable and collections, maintaining both software and hardware on servers, laptops, and desktop PCs, and training of new employees within the department. Job required good organizational skills and self-motivation.


SKILLS

Typing 80 WPM
Over five years HTML experience
Extensive PC and some Macintosh experience
Microsoft server and client software, Microsoft Office, Photoshop, and various other software programs. Knowledgeable in MCSE subjects.
Customer service
SCUBA licensed


VOLUNTEER EXPERIENCE

Como Zoo Family Fun Run/Walk
America Online Virtual Places chat host
America Online Web Diner HTML support


REFERENCES

References available upon request.

...

It's been a few days so I suppose I should write something. I didn't get the scheduling job at the hospital in Edina. I cried. I'm over it. Starting tomorrow I'm hitting the part time job hunt hardcore. The guy at Scents Paradise is super enthousiastic about me being there on Fridays and Saturdays, so that has my spirits up. I made $8 today at Xtension Generation, but I got a lot of studying done. I'm going to hit the books again tonight and hopefully get done with this skeletal system/muscular system unit by tomorrow.

Mood: okay
Listening to: the news

Yeah!

Go get Peter Gabriel's new one, Up. Trust me. Rock.

I was bored today so I went for a test drive in a Ford Ranger. Bad idea. Now I want one so bad it hurts. I also bought a bunch of clothes in the event that I get a job where I have to dress like a conforming member of society. Savers and Ragstock are wonderful, wonderful places.

Mood: good
Listening to: Peter Gabriel - The Barry Williams Show