Feasting and such

I am excited not only to have over a full week off of work next week, but to do some serious cooking.  Last year we did duck.  This year we're doing lamb.  Here's the tentative Christmas menu:

• Rosemary and Garlic Roast Leg of Lamb
• Oyster Dressing
• Garlic mashed potatoes
• Roasted sweet potatoes
• Brussels sprouts with garlic, bacon, and craisins
• Apple pie

Because garlic.

I'm also going to take a crack at homemade eggnog and maybe mulled wine.

We're not exactly on the ball this year for holiday decorations.  All of that stuff is still in our storage space but we're going to be cleaning that out this weekend so we don't have to keep paying $155 a month to store baby clothes and homebrew supplies.  So my week off will involve at least a day's worth of finding places to put everything.  Shouldn't be hard, considering we're swimming in closet space.

In other news, I found me a gaming group.  We are playing Pathfinder.  It's... complicated.  I have been rendered soft and puffy by my D&D 4e experience.

I am merry.  I am bright.

My brain is a dick

I invited five strangers from the Internet to come into my home tomorrow and play Pathfinder with me.  Barring any axe-murdery events, this will be the first -- and long overdue – real attempt at socializing in Denver.  Only took me four months.

It’s totally dorky but I started reading How to Win Friends and Influence People because yes, I really am that socially retarded.  I started reading a different book before this one but I got totally embarrassed because every chapter heading on my Nook was emblazoned with a giant “HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS” logo and I generally only read in public and on the bus.  I’m doing pretty good at practicing the Art of Not Giving A Fuck but I’m not quite 100% there yet.  Not that I really want to get to the point where I’m reading Hustler on the bus in plain view or anything, but I just feel weird about self-help books in general.  Also, that particular book started going down a fluffy woo path pretty early.  I did get something out of the few pages I did read, which is the reiteration of the fact that I need to work on eye contact. 

I greatly dislike making eye contact.

I am nearly phobic about it.

It’s definitely a part of my greater social phobia, but my brain interprets people looking at me as, “THEY’RE JUDGING YOU. RIGHT NOW.  THEY’RE TOTALLY LAUGHING AT YOU.  LOOK.  THEY’RE POINTING AND LAUGHING.  GO ON, LOOK!  LOOK!”  And I’m all like, shut the fuck up, brain.  I’m not looking.  And my brain’s like, “THEY’RE LOOKING AT YOU AND LAUGHING WHILE YOU PASS – HERE, I’LL SHOW YOU IN YOUR PERIPHERAL VISION.”  And I’m like, my peripheral vision’s all blurry and you’re just making stuff up now and I’ll thank you to keep your hallucinatory imagery strictly in my dreams.

I resolved this morning to look at strangers in the eye and make note of their eye color.  Total eyes seen by me today: 0.

I panicked at a fast food restaurant today and ordered a drink when I didn’t want one because I for some reason couldn’t end the transaction.  Then I dropped my change on the ground.  Then I dropped a glove.  Ugh.

I really have been doing better socially, but today has not been my best day.

At least we're not going back until late summer...

We drove back to Minnesota for Thanksgiving.  On one hand it was nice to see the family and get some closure on whether we made the right decision to move (we did), but on the other hand, it was much too soon (absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder) and some really stupid stuff happened that I’d like to forget as soon as possible.

I drove the first eight hour leg to Omaha.  It was almost physically painful to see the mountains disappearing into the rear view mirror.  I still take the dogs outside every morning and just stare at those mountains.  Those peaks represent so many things to me: freedom (personal freedom, not in a fuck yeah AMURCA way), independence, choice, beauty, and a kind of delayed adulthood.  We made a decision, stuck to it, followed through, and it was the best decision of our lives.  I was never happy in Minnesota for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was the climate.  During that first day of driving through the barren prairie of eastern Colorado and the slightly more colorful western Nebraska I could feel my heart sinking.

By the next day my heart was in the pit of my stomach.  I actually felt physically ill and spiritually zapped.  When I saw Buck Hill right before the 35W/E split I thought I was going to be sick.

Spending time with Husband’s family felt the same as it ever did and I felt better once all of Lily’s cousins were together in one place squealing and playing and running around.  We stayed up until midnight and played dominoes and joked and laughed like we had never left.

As much as I would like to rant about other parts of the Minnesota trip I think I’ll save that for a private journal or a conversation with Husband.  Time heals all wounds and now that we’re back in Colorado I have begun the process of letting go and reminding myself of the simple truths that kept me from going crazy years ago.

Sunshine and warm weather heal a lot of wounds too.  It’s going to be 64 degrees and mostly sunny in Denver today.

An amusing anecdote regarding my cat

Because I have nothing more to offer the Internet as of late, here is something I was giggling about last night.

We were on the couch and my cat, Sara, was next to me in one of her rare living room appearances.  She mostly hangs out in the office because I’m sure she thinks we’re going to stuff her back into the cat carrier at any moment, put her into the moving box of torture, and dump her into another unfamiliar house filled with other cats.

We did that once, Sara.  Once.  OK, twice.  The first house didn’t have a cat.  OK, three times.  But we didn’t let the dogs in the second house meet you.

This move has been hard on poor Sara.

Anyway, some commercial came on where a cat described herself as a “lean, mean, purring machine.” 

I looked down at Sara and affectionately said, “You are not mean or lean.”

Husband leaned over, looked at the cat, and said, “No, she’s more dumpy and grumpy.”

Everyone's a critic

This morning in the car on the way to daycare I was singing along to "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Lily: Um, excuse me.
Me: Yes?
Lily: Could you stop singing, please?
Me: Why?
Lily: I don't like it.
Me: You don't like this song or you don't like Mama's singing?
Lily: I don't like Mama's singing.

Whatever, I can rock that falsetto with the chorus at the end.

We have arrived

The majority of our stuff has made it into our new townhouse.  I'm tired, sore, and happy, and we spent an ass-ton of money on new stuff yesterday.  Guest towels!  Rugs!  Wastebaskets!  Our fridge may be empty but damnit, we have shower curtain liners.

Lily's room is almost completely set up.  We still need to buy a bed frame for ourselves and a couch so we can actually sit down in the living room. 

I'm exhausted.

Denver Denver Denver!

More tidbits:

• Denver meter maids are relentless.
• Everybody speeds. All the time. No matter what the speed limit is.
• Surprise! You’re in an exit lane!
• There is a 7-11 approximately every 14.7 feet.
• The Buffalo Chicken Rollers at 7-11 are delicious but you will hate yourself after you eat one.
• There are a shit-ton of Korean churches in Aurora.
• There are a LOT of Koreans in the Denver area in general. I had no idea.
• It’s hard to find Korean tutors and classes around here.
• The free shuttle on the 16th Street Mall is the best thing ever.
• 92 degrees feels like nothing when there’s no humidity.

What I did on my summer vacation

I flew back to Minneapolis to finish packing the house and clean it and do the final goodbyes.  Then Lily and I flew back to Denver together.  I wasn't super excited about the TSA guys giving her a "Junior Officer" sticker (because... like, it's the MAN, man)

but Lily was just excited because it was a sticker and we were finally going to fy on an airpane.

But then she did this and I felt better because she totally gets it.

 

We arrived in Denver a few hours before Husband and his dad got there with the moving truck.  By Monday afternoon everything was loaded into the storage unit and we had some steaks and ribs at a chain restaurant down the road.  Many trips to the amazing liquor store across the street were made and we officially started on a quest to try just about every ale every Colorado brewery puts out.

We drove around, we marveled at the sights.  Instead of seeing a body of water everywhere we turn like in Minnesota we get to see this every time we look to the west.

We did not eat the healthiest of meals this week.

But we did manage to get out to the mountains with Husband's uncle, who introduced Lily to kite flying...

...and also the joy of a solid mountain hike.  There was only a little* whining and complaining.

* A lot

We visited the first of many local brewpubs for our post-mountain refreshment.

The Bavarian helles was not to my taste, the kolsch was OK, the Cherry Wheat was just sour enough to make it interesting, but the Basil Blonde knocked my socks off.  We got a growler to go.

On the darker side the altbier again didn't do it for me, the Great Scott had a nice smokey bacon background, the Imperial Oak Aged Stout was good enough to warrant a second growler, and the Mexican Chocolate Stout was... interesting.  It had a cinnamon-chocolate punch up front and a habanero burn going down.  The 4 oz flight glass was probably all a person should drink.

Meanwhile, Lily had a Capri Sun and tried on Dada's new hat.

Later we went to the Justice League of Street Food where we were all too busy shoving food down our gobs to take pictures of what we were eating.  We had Korean beef on a stick, hot salty balls (deep fried mashed potato balls), pheasant-rattlesnake sausage, the most amazing tacos ever in the whole world
(queso, carnitas, and pork belly -- which I could have eaten about 14 of), and a ridiculously delicious crab sandwich from a guy who REALLY likes Old Bay seasoning.  Obviously it was hipster central.  We were also introduced to goat heads.  I had one in my shoe.  They are the devil.

We capped off the week with a trip to a nearby splash pad where we inadvertently stumbled upon a picnic for the Special Olympics.  The place was packed, but Lily had a good time.

And that's what I did on my summer vacation.  Pretty sure I gained about 15 pounds.

Colorado, rah rah rah!

I’ve been an unofficial Colorado resident for three days.  I’m missing Husband and Lily terribly.  The commute from our temporary living situation is killer.  But I’m loving every glimpse of the mountains, every breath of thin air, and every molecule of green chili.

Little things:

• It’s DRY.  My lips are going to fall off and my skin doesn’t know what to do with itself right now. 
• The weather is crazy.  One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a thunderstorm, then sunny again.  It’s cool at night and blazing hot during the day. 
• NO HUMIDITY, HALLELUJAH 
• Very few bugs. 
• Public transportation is everywhere but it’s expensive as hell. 
• Their light rail is actually a system as opposed to a single line. 
• I may not know where I am or where I’m going, but at least I always know which way is west. 
• Mountains.  There they are.  Right over there. 
• The elevation hasn’t affected my lungs as much as my heart.  I’m also not nearly as dizzy as I usually am, which is really saying something.
• I WILL PUT GREEN CHILI ON EVERYTHING 
• The major grocery store out here is called “King Soopers.”  I wonder when that will ever sound normal.  It’s not as bad as “Piggly Wiggly” but it’s pretty close.

Ready to go

It's my last week here in Minneapolis.  I am awash with impatience.  I won't see Husband or Lily for a week and I will be living with a guy I barely know in an unfamiliar place.

Sounds scary, but it isn't.  Except for the not-seeing-my-family part.  Husband's cousin, with whom we're temporarily staying, is just about the nicest and most fun guy ever.  His whole family is fantastic and I can't wait to see them again. 

Being at our going away party this weekend and being forced to be social again has reignited a need to try putting myself out there again.  I'm going to find some friends in Denver, damn it, and I'm going to try not to be so awkward.  Nobody out there knows me so maybe for the first time ever I can drop at least a few of the masks I wear and let someone in just a little.

I'm also interested in seeing how some of our Minnesota relationships hold up.  I should have been embarrassed by who didn't show up this weekend and I should be more concerned about what has and has not been said by some, but I'm so far past the point of giving a shit anymore that I've already dug that hole inside, filled it with shit, dug it out again, and filled it in again with compost and flowers.  Now I can focus all my energy into packing, moving, living, and enjoying life.

It's a lot easier now that my hangover has passed.

New Manifesto

6 months late, and actually the words of Husband, but there it is.

Yes, we’re moving to Denver.

The planets have aligned and the clouds parted to reveal a golden opportunity that we couldn’t pass up.  Basically, my job was available in Denver so I applied.  Husband and I have been scheming about moving to CO since we first got married.

We’re in the process of attaching little round price stickers to nearly everything we own.  7+ years of accumulated crap has been sifted, sorted, trashed, and assessed.  You don’t quite understand how little all of your stuff really means to you until you have the prospect of having to pack and move it cross-country. 

Colorado will be very much about us starting over – no, make that simply starting.  I don’t want to start our lives surrounded with clutter and useless crap.  I already knew what was important: Husband, Lily, the pets, the PS3, and our computers (I’m a realist).  This is just solidifying my belief that stuff is just stuff.  I’m looking forward to keeping life simple and minimalist.

We’ve been very comfortable here in Minneapolis.  We have stable jobs, we’re surrounded by family, we’re able to pay our bills.  But we both knew that the rest of the world is out there waiting for us.

On my high horse about toddlers and electronics

“My 2 year old can turn on the TV and put in a DVD all by herself!”

“My 3 year old is playing Minecraft!”

“I let my 4 year old watch videos and play games on my iPhone!”

Whoop-de-fuckin’-do.  My 3 year old does not do these things.  And I’ll tell you why.

First and foremost, it’s because she’s fucking 3.  She’s got around 100 years to fiddle around with electronics and burn her retinas with whatever kind of screen she chooses.

She already watches what I consider to be a high amount of TV: usually 2-3 episodes of whatever Nick Jr./Sprout/PBS show she’s into that day while dinner is being made.  Weekends are worse.  But she must always ask politely before we’ll turn anything on for her.  Spongebob is not an option and occasional Dora/Diego are only allowed on the little TV on the opposite side of the house from the kitchen where I can’t hear them shouting.

She has a little handheld touchscreen computer thingy (it’s some Playskool thing but she calls it her “DS”) but she’s not attached to it and really only picks it up if it’s right in front of her and she doesn’t have anything better to do.  She can work that thing’s deep menus pretty impressively to get to her favorite storybook or puzzle game.  I half explained how to use it and she took it from there.

That’s exactly what I want her to do.  She can’t quite grasp the computer mouse yet but I bet she could probably figure out what buttons to push to turn the TV on if she tried.  I want her to explore, experiment, and learn things on her own.  I’m not going to sit down and give her a tutorial on our two different remotes and remote-less stereo receiver.  But if I wake up one Saturday morning to find her happily watching Yo Gabba Gabba all by herself, I’m going to give her a ton of praise for working it out and then send her into the toy room or backyard.

I’m kinda glad our current TV setup is complicated, though.