In which PPC does not review 2009

Let's just get on with it.

Mama Thursday: First Word!

We got through our first Christmas with a fair amount of guilt-tripping, but not nearly as much as I had thought there would be.  Why?  Because we spent our first Christmas Eve at home as a family.  Husband and I were both sick as shit and none of us, Lily included, was in any mood to deal with any extended family.  We're going to continue this tradition of Christmas Eve at home for as long as we can. 

Christmas Eve was extra special because Lily said her first word.  She hasn't said it since.  That's my Aries child.

On Christmas Day Lily got all sorts of toys that we need to find room for and lots of awesome clothes.  She ate cookies and quiche and potatoes.

Foodblogging: Chap Chae (잡채) with Tofu

Chap Chae is one of those foods that Americans seem to really be into.  I guess it's because it's sort of like chow mein or chop suey.  It can be really bland and boring, which is why I don't eat it very often -- especially at restaurants where they tend to put the smallest amount of the cheapest veggies and meats in a slop of noodles.  Then it tends to sit around under a heat lamp and that's just not how I roll. 

But if you make it fresh it's a whole different dish.  So here's my riff on a fairly basic chap chae recipe without all that pesky measuring or animal parts.

First you make the marinade.  This combination of soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, garlic, and green onions is essentially the flavor of Korea.  Many recipes start out with this.  Just mix enough of everything to coat whatever you're marinating and still have a few tablespoons left over.  Set the extra aside for later.

Slice firm tofu into whatever shape you prefer.  I went with planks to maximize the golden brown deliciousness that will happen when it's fried..  It's going to break up later on anyway so it really doesn't matter.  Let it marinate while you chop up your other veggies.  At this time you'll want to soak your rice noodles in boiling water and set them aside to soften.

I made enough veggies and tofu for four big servings and soaked two small bundles of noodles.

When you've got everything prepped and ready to go, get a wok nice and hot.  Fry your tofu in enough oil that you'll have some left to coat your veggies.  Heat is key here.  It's best to use peanut oil so you can get it very hot without smoking.  I was out of peanut oil so I used canola and a lower temp...

 

...so I didn't get as much browning on the tofu as I would have liked.  Oh well.

 

 

Add your carrots, bamboo shoots, napa cabbage, and spinach. 

 

 

Your spinach will wilt down and it gets a lot easier to stir everything.

When your veggies are crisp-tender enough to your liking add your drained rice noodles and the reserved marinade.  Cook it long enough to heat everything through.  Season with black pepper, red chili flake, and salt if you don't think the soy sauce had enough.

And there you have it.  Comfort food, Korean style.  You can serve up big bowls of it as a main dish, eat it as a side, put it over rice, add or subtract veggies or proteins, and add whatever spicy condiment gets you excited.  I recommend stirring in a bit of gochujang and serving with kimchi on top.

It may be boring, but it sure tastes cozy on a cold winter night.

PPC's Guide to Not Failing At Life

1. If you drive on the right, walk on the right.  Move all the way over.
2. Never, ever stop in the middle of a road, sidewalk, or hallway.
3. If you must talk on your cell phone in public, lower your voice.
4. Nobody wants to hear your ringtone.
5. If someone comes up behind you at a register, place the plastic separator on the belt so they don't have to crawl over you to reach it.
6. Don't spend more than 15 seconds putting your change/receipt/checkbook/card away.  You can reorganize your purse/wallet in your car or at home.
7. Be aware of your surroundings.
8. Say please and thank you to everyone you encounter.
9. Tip 20%.
10. Cashiers: hand the coins over first, then the bills.
11. Don't run on the bike/skate path and don't bike/skate on the footpath.
12. Wear deodorant.
13. Please hurry across the street when there is someone waiting to turn.
14. Use basic proper grammar.  Always.
15. Lay off the self tanner/tanning booth.
16. Limit yourself to one spray of perfume/cologne.  You should not leave a vapor trail.

This is a work in progress.  Suggestions are always welcome.

Mama Thursday (on Tuesday): PPC's Guide to Homemade Baby Food

Have you tried canned baby food?  Imagine condensed soup mixed with canned vegetables.  No wonder so many kids grow up to be picky eaters.  If I had to eat nothing but soulless, lifeless commercial baby food for the first year of life I'd want to drown myself in Kool-Aid and chicken fingers too.

I've been making homemade baby food since Lily was able to eat it.  The few times she's had commercial baby veggies were acts of desperation by an exhausted Mama.  I still feel bad about it.  I still get commercial fruits though, because they haven't screwed those up too bad.  Still, Lily definitely prefers my applesauce over the jarred variety.

To many people, making baby food sounds too difficult.  Put on your big girl panties, folks, because you can do this.  Easily.

Some people (me included) think you need one of these jobbies:

No!  Do not waste your money!  The only thing this will provide you is sore arms and despair.  You will, however, want to get one of these babies:

Yes, it's 50 bucks.  DO IT.  Get the Cuisinart one, or at least get an immersion blender that is at minimum 200 watts and NOT cordless.  I seldom go a week without pulling this out at least twice.

This magic wand is your key to baby food goodness.  Do you have a microwave?  Do you have ice cube trays?  No ice cube trays?  They've got them 2 for a buck at the dollar store.  Now get yourself some frozen veggies (or fresh, whatever you've got on hand), put them in the handy cup the Cuisinart blender comes with, add a little water, cover it with some wax paper, and nuke until soft.  You're aiming for soft and bright, not mushy and brown.  Most veggies take about 6 minutes in my microwave.  Then buzz it up with the blender, spoon into your ice cube trays (most trays hold 1 Tbsp [2 oz] in each cube), and freeze.  Then you can pop them into plastic freezer bags and they're ready to go.

It took me more effort to type that out than it does to actually make baby food.  It's not even worth taking pictures of the process because it's so stupid easy.

Lily's a big fan of single veggies like carrots, peas, green beans, and broccoli, but lately we've been expanding her horizons into combinations like carrot, onion, and lentil; broccoli, rice, and cheese; and corn and oat.  I've mixed white beans and green beans together with Italian seasoning with great results.  She also likes butternut squash with onion, cumin, and chili powder.  The best thing about the stick blender is that you can just put it to whatever you're eating for dinner (maybe mix in a little breastmilk/formula) and puree it.  How easy is that?

This child will eat anything we put in front of her and I really believe it's because she's had so much good, fresh food.  It's interesting to note that we tried some macaroni, cheese, and veggie commercial baby food last week and she barely choked it down.  She was NOT happy about it.

Foodblogging: Crave at the Mall of America

We stopped in to Crave at the MOA last night after experiencing the chaos of the mall (we have to be a part of the madness once a year just to get a feel for the season even if we don't actually buy anything).  We and our stroller were shuttled off to what appeared to be the family section out on the "patio" area outside of the main part of the restaurant.  I didn't mind looking over Camp Nickelodeon Park Knott's Snoopy whatever it's called.  Our server was very nice and recommended the Sunday special: all-you-can-eat prime rib, snow crab legs, and fettuccine alfredo.  After agonizing over the menu (not a ton of veggie options and the entrees are a little pricier than I would have preferred) this sounded like a winner because we could just share that and the hummus plate. 

I had a couple of bites of the prime rib because it used to be my favorite food in my days of eating bird and mammal.  It was tender, juicy, and flavorful just as you'd expect prime rib to be.  The fettuccine alfredo was really good as well.  The cheese they use was a lot more flavorful than most of the white slop you get at your average restaurant.  We were brought plate after plate of crab fresh out of the pot without having to wait for it.  The crab legs weren't gigantic, but they weren't exactly small either.  I think we managed a crab and a half each.  We definitely got more than our $25 worth and we didn't even have to drive up to Black Bear Casino on a Thursday night for their AYCE crab legs.

The hummus plate was pretty good but the hummus itself was a bit on the stiff side.  The olive tapanade is stellar and I can't complain about the whole roasted garlic.

So would I come back?  Sure, if we had the money and we happened to be at the MOA on a Sunday.

Adventures in Tech Support: We're a Different Sort of Creature

Client in boardroom where I'm just trying to get a projector to work: *extends hand* Hello there!

Me: Uh... *takes hand* Hi.  (I do not know how to respond to your social gestures)  I'm the IT girl. *run away*

A little circular logic for my commute

I heard one of those Jesus minute commercials from some church or another on KFAN the other night. It actually tried to argue that the absense of proof that God exists proves that God exists.
I am more and more confused by theists every day. This is not for lack of trying to understand this way of thinking, I just can't get behind blind faith.

Foodblogging: Anchor Fish & Chips

It was packed at 6:00 on a Tuesday night.  That really tells you something.

Had the fish and chips and was not disappointed.  I actually like my fries a little on the not-crunchy side.  The baby enjoyed the fries as well.  And the highchair they brought out -- adorable!  A real vintage highchair with a tray and everything, not just one of those chair-with-rail thingies at every other restaurant in the world.

I am puzzled by the white vinegar and the $0.50 tartar sauce.  But whatever, they still made it onto my fish.

The mushy peas are as amazing as everyone says they are.  Almost everyone at our table had a few bites and the baby finished them off.  I wish I had more to bring home.

Foodblogging: Beermato Sauce

I asked Husband to hand me a beer out of the fridge last night, cracked it open, and poured some of it into the pot of sauce I had simmering on the stove.  He dubbed it, "beermatoes."

I put this over mini chimichangas (minichangas?) last night.  I can see it on enchiladas, chicken, cheap steak, pasta, mussels, fish, polenta -- anything, really.  It's easy and quick.  This is key when you're starving after work and fresh from nursing a baby.

Beermato Sauce

1/2 cup jarred salsa
1 tomato, chopped
1 Tbsp tomato paste
4 Tbsp beer, preferably ale, more or less depending on how thin you want the sauce to be

Bring the first three ingredients to a boil, lower the temperature, add the beer, simmer five minutes.  You can blend it to make it smooth or not.

Makes roughly 2 servings

Mama Thursday: Week 35 - Moving right along

You know what's fucking scary?  The Leapfrog handheld game system commercial.  The kids barely take their eyes off the tiny screen for a second and when they do -- it's straight onto the computer!  They're running around the house with these things and mom and dad look so proud of their little screen zombies.  Sure they haven't been outside since they left the hospital but at least they're learning!

I don't know what's worse: those things or this horrible thing.  I mean really -- really?

Lily's a champion crawler now.  She's also the most punctual child I've ever met.  6:00 PM means time for a boob and time to turn in for the night.  5:00 AM is time to wake up.  Do not deviate from the plan.  Deviation from the schedule means a very cranky baby.

She is pulling herself up to standing on things like the crib and the coffee table much more often now.  Husband finally got to see her do it this week when she stood in the crib and grinned at us while we were going about our morning routine.

I'm so proud of my little foodie.  She will eat anything you put in front of her and will actually pout if you don't give her at least a taste of whatever you're eating.  I hope this trend continues throughout her childhood and the rest of her life.  If there's one thing I can't stand it's a picky eater (and evidently neither can Conner).  You're damn right I was forced to sit at the table in front of a cold plate for hours until I finished my food.  You're damn right Lily will have to do the same if it comes to that.  I'm not a short order cook and if you don't like what I've made then you're going to go hungry.

I'm a bit frustrated that I haven't had a chance to fully babyproof the house yet.  I've done bits here and there in the important parts of the house where she most frequently is but I don't have the cabinet locks installed yet.  And if I don't do it it won't get done.  *grump*

Mama Friday: Week 34 - A Crusty Nose and a Blown Mind

My poor baby has a runny nose.  She firmly believes that when anyone tries to wipe her nose they are actually trying to rip her face off so we just let her sit there with a drippy, crusty nose most of the time until Mama can't stand it anymore.

She has been extremely excited about her new mobility.  This child does not sit still for more than a second and a half and it occurred to me that she's probably not going to sit still again for the next fifteen or so years.  I'm exhausted already.  Our little lumplump baby is no longer content to sit on Mama or Dada's lap for long periods of time.

She has fully mastered the So Big game, and in fact plays it by herself even when no one is looking.  It's a bit odd to turn around and see her sitting there with her arms in the air for no good reason.

Up until this point it has been easy to equate the child to a pet.  Maybe a slow moving and somewhat dull pet, but a pet nonetheless.  We'd put her down somewhere, hand her a toy, and pat her on the head.  We'd tell her, "Good girl!" when she did things we liked.  We cooed and called at her to come to us when she started crawling.  It's slowly sinking in now that very shortly she's going to start using words and signs to communicate back to us.  She's actually a little person who is going to grow up into a big person before we know it.  She's going to go to school and make friends and find a career and probably find a partner and maybe get married and maybe have a kid or two or more of her own.

THIS IS VERY OVERWHELMING.

Foodblogging: Special Occasion Veggie Shepherd's Pie

This was my first Thanksgiving where I did not eat any meat.  I ate this  shepherd's pie as a main dish -- sorta, because the sides are the real reason to be excited about Thanksgiving anyway.  My father-in-law made some crazy good sweet potatoes and I think I ate more of those than anything.

This recipe is really meant to use leftovers.  I imagine it would take forever to make from scratch start to finish in one go.  You can use whatever veggies you have in the fridge.

Special Occasion Veggie Shepherd's Pie

Veggies:
1 zucchini
2 tomatoes, seeded
1 delicata squash, seeded
2 small onions
3 Yukon Gold potatoes
1/2 lb green beans, trimmed
9 oz baby bella mushrooms
2 sweet potatoes, peeled
2 large carrots, peeled
olive oil
salt & pepper

Chop all the veggies into slightly-larger-than-bite-sized chunks.  They will shrink when roasted.  Put them all into a big bowl, drizzle with olive oil, and season with salt and pepper.  Get your hands in there and make sure the oil is coating everything.  Arrange all the veggies on as many baking sheets as it takes to get them all into a single layer (it took me two).  Roast in a 450 degree F oven for 15-20 minutes, switching the pans around and stirring after 10 minutes, until the veggies are slightly browned on the edges but not cooked through.

Potatoes:

4 medium Yukon Gold potatoes
4 medium russet potatoes
1/2 cup half & half + more if necessary
4 Tbsp butter
salt & pepper

Peel the potatoes, boil them until tender, drain them.  Mash with half & half and butter.  Season with salt and pepper.

Spinach Alfredo Sauce:

4 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup half & half
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, shredded
1 box frozen chopped spinach, defrosted and squeezed dry
1/4 tsp nutmeg
fresh ground pepper

Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat.  Whisk in the half & half and bring to a boil.  Lower heat to a simmer and whisk in the cheese a little at a time until it's all melted.  Stir in spinach and nutmeg.  Season with pepper.

Assembly:

Arrange veggies on the bottom of a dutch oven or casserole dish.  Top with Alfredo sauce until veggies are lightly sauced but not swimming.  If you have leftover sauce, mix it into the potatoes.  Top this with the mashed potatoes.  Cook in a 350 degree F oven until heated through and the potatoes are slightly browned on top.

My eye is an alien

I don't remember when it first happened this time around, but sometime this weekend I ended up with something in my eye for the second time in two weeks.  After much clawing at it, standing under the shower with my eye pried open, splashing water into it over the sink, using an eye wash cup and saline, and squirting contact lens solution under my eyelid I finally decided that whatever was in there probably wasn't in there anymore and my cornea was scratched.  My whole eye area was swollen, the eyeball itself was fire engine red, leaking like a sieve, and I could barely open it in the light.  Thus I had to wear an eye patch yesterday.  It was pretty hot, let me tell you.  Wait, no, see for yourself:

 Yeah yeah, one of these days I'll get around to plucking those eyebrows.  

Probably right after Lily's college graduation.

Today I am patch-less but not happy.  My eye is sore and feels like an alien embedded in my skull.  Being in the light is very painful.  I'm most annoyed that I can hardly read my book that I've been trying to plow through all week because of the glare coming off the white pages.  If it gets much worse I'm going to have to patch it again and at that point I will become ANGRY PIRATE.

Mama Thursday: Week 33 - Sounds, yoga, and inevitable forward motion

Lily has for the most part been a very quiet baby until this last week.  There was that (thankfully short-lived) shrieking streak she had several weeks ago, and she's always been liberal with the razzing, but now she's got all kinds of things to say like, "Uwawawawawawa."  The other night she even resumed her soft "singing" that she used to do when she was very young.

Ha!  Like she's so old now at 33 weeks.

She's quite the squirmy wormy lately too.  She doesn't just sit still and play with her toys anymore.  She's always moving, changing position, sitting up, rolling over, squirming around on her belly, kneeling by the table, and scooting backwards.  She also gets herself into the downward dog yoga position like she wants to stand up but she just ends up rolling over or landing back on her butt.  She tried to crawl forward but she could only ever get her hands and one of her knees working.  Her other leg would be stuck under her and she'd sit there and wonder why she wasn't going anywhere.

...Until today when she just up and crawled.  And not just a few crawling movements and then she's down again, she's crawling clear across the room.  And she's fast.  My MIL sent us a video to prove it.

Tonight = turbo babyproofing.

Foodie Tuesday: meal plan and Brasa Rotisserie

First off, my meal plan for this week.  It's a work in progress.  I was going to try and plan out two weeks at a time.

Next, we went to Brasa Rotisserie in Northeast last night.  No, I have not resumed eating bird and mammal.  They have a pretty decent selection of stuff for us non-omnivores.  I think the best bang for your buck thing on the menu is actually the plate of 3 sides.

I got the cheese grits, which were delightful; the creamed spinach, which was chock full of jalapeno (I added some sour cream at home to be able to eat them); the fried sweet plantains, which are amazing; and I went with the masa corn and cheese cake, which was puzzling but good.  I'm still not sure what the spicy stuff on top of it was.

Husband got the pulled pork.  He said it was good, but he was confused by the fact that when you order the meat, all you get is meat.  Just a pile of meat.  It's an a la carte menu, yes, but it's still a bit strange.  Also, it seems a bit excessive to charge $4.25 for a little cup of grits with some shredded cheese on top.

We were there with friends and the baby.  I didn't feel bad about bringing the baby because it was a Monday night and if people don't want to eat in restaurants with kids they can just wait until the weekend, damnit.  Brasa is actually surprisingly kid-friendly, as evidenced by the big stack of high chairs.  It was a little interesting wedging the high chair in the tiny open space by our table.  The place is tiny.  Not Colossal Cafe tiny, but it's tight in there.  The staff was almost supernaturally nice.  All in all I would go back but maybe do everything family style.

All I'm saying is that I'm not a robot

• Everyone's got someone at work who's "Entitlement Guy."  Entitlement Guy might even be a woman.  Oh Entitlement Guy, if only you would realize that IT and office services people are human beings just like yourself.  Entitlement Guy, did your parents never teach you the value of "please" and "thank you?"  Have you never heard of the Golden Rule?  Entitlement Guy, if only you knew of the things we do behind the scenes to get back at you.
  

• I am working on a real and proper Mama Thursday post.
  

• I will also be sharing this week's meal plan tomorrow for Foodie Tuesday and will have a review of Brasa Rotisserie.
  

• It's official, I'm a Crackberry addict.  I left it plugged in to synch this morning and almost broke out into a cold sweat when I got into the bathroom without it.  You mean I'm just supposed to STARE AT THE WALLS while I pee?
  

• Let me just say that getting your groceries delivered to your door is just about the greatest thing ever.  I'll happily fork over the $5 delivery fee so I don't have to deal with people's fat, dumb asses at the grocery store.  And those people who bring the entire extended family with them to Cub Foods.  And the stores that have their employees stocking shelves from giant pallets in the MIDDLE OF THE AISLE during the busiest times of day.  Seriously, you're open 24 hours.  Do that shit at 3 AM.  Between that, the family reunion, and Wendy Wideass and her boyfriend, Bill Buttflopski, it's enough to cause social anxiety in the most outgoing of extroverts.
  

• But to the Coborn's Delivers driver who inexplicably dumped two ice packs on my patio yesterday, WTF?
  

• Bonus: the best part of the grocery delivery is the dry ice.  Wheee!

Foodie Tuesday on Wednesday: Meal Plan Cop Out (and some bonus juvenile marital banter)

I have actually been cooking.  Here's the meal plan I'm still working on.

• Spaghetti, salad 
• Borscht, pierogies
• Fish Tacos, rice with cilantro and lime
• Szechwan Tofu Triangles in Triple Pepper Sauce
  
• Chili, cornbread
• Fried rice, eggrolls
• Pizza

The highlight has definitely been the borscht.  But wow, does it ever make a ton.  I had to give away a bunch of it and there's still some in the fridge that needs to get thrown.  I made the chili last night and it also made a ton -- it filled my 3-qt pot right up to the top.  It's a good base recipe but definitely needs more spice.  I would add a chopped jalapeno next time.  I like the bulgur but Husband complained about the lack of meat.  Um, hi, remember me?  Your wife?  The one who doesn't eat bird or mammal? 

He thought it needed more fat so I put some olive oil in his lunch container of chili leftovers.  "There's your mouthfeel," I said. 

"I'll give you mouthfeel," he replied.   It only got sillier from there.

I'm not sure what's going on the pizza yet.  It might be Choose Your Own Pizza Adventure Pizza.

I've only got one thing to say today

MINIMUM WAAAGE... HYAH!

(Saw TMBG last night.  Very tired.)

Mama Thursday (on Friday): Week 30 quickie

Busy, busy, busy.  Mama, Dada, and baby have all been busy with work and play and eating.

The other morning I looked down into Lily's eyes and she smiled back at me... with my smile.  It was a deeply surreal and poignent moment, like shock rubbed soft with the truest human connection one can have.

Mama Thursday: Week 29 - I Know Where the Time Is Going

She's almost seven months old.  I can't get enough of her.  And there is a very good reason for that.

On nights when Husband is at his night job and I have to pick Lily up we usually get home around 5:00.  Lily's last feeding is at 6:00 and she usually falls asleep while she's eating.  I have one hour to give her some solid food and play with her before she starts rubbing her eyes so hard she looks like a raccoon with a red mask.  One hour!  On weekends I try to cram as much baby bonding time as possible into those 48 hours.

This does not seem acceptable to me.

God bless America?

Foodblogging: Gnocchi with Brown Butter Sage Sauce and Sauteed Spinach

It's been a long week.  I was so happy to come home to our Coborn's Delivers order.  After getting the baby off to bed I needed something easy to make for dinner.  I could have gone for spaghetti but I needed something nourishing to counter at least some of the stress of the day.  If you work in IT support you know what I'm talking about when I say that it was one of those days.

This meal was supposed to include butternut squash but I didn't get that into the oven fast enough.

Hey look -- pictures!

The sauteed spinch couldn't get much easier.  Put a couple of teaspoons of olive oil in a pan and add the spinach by the handful until it's all wilted.  Season with salt, pepper, and a dash of nutmeg.  If you're a rockstar you can saute garlic in the oil for a few seconds before adding the spinach.  I was lazy.  It's also nice to add a shake or two of crushed red pepper.

The brown butter sage sauce is easy but you have to be sure the butter doesn't burn while you're distracted by something.  Four tablespoons of butter goes into a pan over medium heat.

Let it sit there until the milk solids turn a golden brown.

Do this while your gnocchi cooks.  When they float to the top you can remove them with a slotted spoon or spider.

As soon as your butter has browned throw in 1-2 Tbsp of fresh minced sage.  It will foam up on you so don't be alarmed. 

Add your gnocchi to the pan, stir to coat, then crank up the heat and don't touch them until the bottoms get toasty brown.  Season with salt and pepper, but go easy on the salt at first if you used salted butter.  Top with shredded Parmesan.

 Yum!  Even though the plate looks lonely without the butternut squash.

Gnocchi with Brown Butter Sage Sauce

1 package gnocchi

4 Tbsp butter

1-2 Tbsp fresh sage, minced

salt and pepper, to taste

shredded Parmesan to garnish

Cook the gnocchi according to package directions, drain and set aside.

Meanwhile, cook butter in a wide pan over medium heat until milk solids turn golden brown.  Watch carefully and do not allow to burn.

Add sage and cook 1 minute.  Add cooked gnocchi, stir to coat, season with salt and pepper, then let them cook until browned on the bottom.  Sprinkle with Parmesan.

Sauteed Spinach

10 oz fresh spinach

2 tsp olive oil

1/8 tsp nutmeg

salt and pepper to taste

Heat oil in saute pan over medium-high heat.  Add spinach by the handful and stir, adding more as it wilts.  Season with nutmeg, salt, and pepper.

Mama Thursday: Week 28

I had a friend in elementary school (Hi, Missy!) whose mother was the most overprotective human being I had ever met.  My parents would roll their eyes or laugh when I told them about the things she would do.  In hindsight, a parenting style between the two extremes of her mom and my dad would have been great.  Now that Lily's here I completely understand the need to be overprotective.

I understand it, but I refuse to fall victim to it.

Unless you have a child you just can't fathom the sheer pervasiveness of the irrational fears that occupy your mind 24/7.  Irrational, as in, "If I turn my head to grab the towel while she's in the bathtub she'll drown!"  Or perhaps, "If I leave the room to pee she's going to fly out of her crib and eat all the diaper cream and be poisoned to death, even if I have the bathroom door open and she's within my sight the entire time and humans cannot as of yet fly on their own power."  Or my personal favorite, "The baby's going to choke on that dust particle."  These are the things that roll through your previously rational brain day and night.

I've done a pretty good job of not being the mom who pushes dad aside because only I can handle the baby and the proper and correct fashion.  I trust that he's going to buckle her into the car seat just fine, that he's not going to drop her when he's playing with her, and that he can the baby's laundry just as well as I can.  What's harder is getting past all those other underlying fears.

As she grows older I refuse to let the paranoia of the day prevent her from experiencing the joys of childhood, like playing outside.  Not every male is a childnapping pedofile.  Not every toy needs to have soft, rounded edges, and not every toy even needs to be a toy.  She will be encouraged to use the playground equipment beyond its intended purpose (Climb to the top of the monkeybars!  Run up the slides!  Jump off the swings!), swim in lakes, climb trees, and read books beyond her age level.

I swear the most I ever check on her to see if she's breathing at night is twice.

This last week Lily has tried all kinds of new foods.  She's been dealing with some teething issues and I found that she likes chewing on cold pickle spears.  We tried the Gerber 2nd stage organic green beans last night and she thought they were horrible -- and I have to agree.  They taste like actual dirt.  I only bought them because I haven't had a chance to go to the store and I've been holding off on buying a food mill.  I bought a cheap baby food mill at Target yesterday and made real green beans (from frozen) last night so we'll see what she thinks of those today.  The food mill came with one of those mesh feeder things and we got a picture from Grandma today showing her having a heck of a time gnawing on a frozen strawberry.

She's quite the champion sitter now but she prefers to be on her tummy.  She's still working on picking up small objects.  Giving her Cheerio-like food is funny because she tries to grab them in her fist and ends up pushing them around the highchair tray. 

Foodie Tuesday: Chicken Fantastik

After reading this article at Heavy Table I was all jazzed up to try my hand at Somali food.  I have a bunch of recipes in my library from all over Africa that I haven't mustered up the courage to try on Husband yet but none of them are Somali.  The relative simplicity of Somali food really appeals to me.  I decided to try Chicken Fantastik and Somali Rice (recipe at the first link) first.

I only used 1 pound of Morningstar Farms Chik'n Strips (whoops, I only bought one bag).  I compensated somewhat with cubes of additional zucchini.  It turned out fine, if a little soupy.

 The rice is absolutely heavenly.  The recipe makes a ton so I was able to put some in the freezer for later.  It has a warm, spicy fragrance that would pair well with simply sauteed vegetables or broiled fish with a tomato sauce.

The Chicken (Chik'n) Fantastik was a little scary to me at first because of the amount of cream involved.  This is not a low calorie dish.  I was worried about the lactose but the simmering time evidently took care of that for me.

The recipe at Showcase Minnesota fails to make clear that your chicken should be pre-cooked and that you need to add the chicken and veggies before the last 15 minute simmer.  I cut the Chik'n strips into thirds before tossing them in.

I'm fairly sure you're supposed to eat this with pita bread alongside the rice but I just served it over the rice since it was so soupy.  I ate this for lunch a few days last week and was very happy about it.

I did actually take a picture of it but my SD card decided to crap out on me before I was able to pull it off.

I like air

I'm feeling absolutely exhausted today because of some crazy dream I was having last night that appears to have spilled into the real world.

I was dreaming that I was in some kind of WOW-type game. I was in a watery area and kept diving underwater to collect some items (like a badass spear and some health-giving items that looked like blocks with hearts on them). I think I was literally holding my breath in real life because I kept running out of air and having to surface. Then a bizarre scene involving my mother-in-law that was rife with symbolism played out and my alarm went off. I have giant bags under my eyes today. These are the days I almost wish I had makeup that wasn't seven years old that I could wear. Now I'm freaking myself out and wondering if I have sleep apnea or something. It's probably just weird dreams brought on by the alfalfa tablets I've been taking.

Man, that was one badass spear.

Mama Thursday: Week 27

Lily has crossed over into full-on babbling.  She's mostly using vowel sounds but every now and again there's a B or P in there.  She's doing a lot less razzing, which was hilarious, but the babble is ridiculously adorable.

She has bitten me in the nipple a few times.  Not cool.  The worst part is that she always grins at me afterward.  I figure this is some sort of karmic retribution for past grievances and schadenfreude on my part.

I've been a bit stressed out lately and my milk production has been down.  I took some alfalfa last night (gotta find some fenugreek seeds today) and ended up having bizarre dreams about Husband beating me, a raccoon/dog combination, and my cat falling comically from a window complete with Wile E. Coyote sound effects.  I hope the dreams are only a temporary side effect.

One of the big reasons I'm stressed lately is because my company decided that everyone needed to work a 40 hour week regardless of location.  So now I have to leave 30 minutes later every day.  The traffic is that much worse when I get on the road to pick up Lily and by the time we get home it's 5:00.  She eats her solid food, maybe gets a bath, then takes her final nursing a little after 6:00.  One hour of quality baby time just isn't very satisfying.  Modern parenting really sucks.

Thanks for the memories

As I write this the Twins and Tigers are tied in the 12th inning of the 163rd game of the 2009 season -- the last regular season game in the Metrodome.

I was thinking of my first Twins game.  Must have been 1987 or 1988.  Is it just me or did the turf used to be a completely different and wholly unnatural color?  I remember the first time I stepped through the entrance to the seats.  The green of the turf was so green.  The baggie of the roof was so white.  The seats were so blue.  It was almost sensory overload.

I'll remember the malt cups with their wooden stick/spoon things.  I'll remember chocolate sundaes in plastic baseball caps.  I'll remember the way the announcer's voice would reverberate around the stadium.  I'll remember the smell of the concrete of the concourse.  I'll remember the Dome Dogs and Macho Nachos.

I'm not a football fan so i probably won't be seeing any more sporting events there.  I'll probably skate this winter when they open it up for Rollerdome and watch them set up the football field or monster truck rally or convention as I zoom by the doors.  None of that will be the same as a Twins game at the Dome.  And one day soon the whole thing will be torn down and all we'll have left are our memories.

Thanks for the memories, Metrodome.

Foodblogging: burger and burger

So far so good on the ground beef I served Husband for dinner last night.  I made Jucy Lucys with pepperjack cheese for him and portobello burgers for me.  It was the first time we used my homemade ketchup.  I really need to tweak that recipe because it's really sweet and needs white vinegar.  Otherwise it beats the pants off of any commercial ketchup.

When it came to my portobellos I was just winging it.  I brushed them with a mixture of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, basil, oregano, salt, and pepper (You want umami?  I got yer umami right 'ere.) and let them sit for about 15 minutes while I was putting together the rest of the meal.  They went in the broiler for about ten minutes (flipping after 5).  I put one on a kaiser roll with tomato, lettuce, and sauteed onions.  It was fabulous.  We had corn on the cob and sweet potato on the side like it was summer or something.

My second portobello made its reappearance as lunch straight up with leftover sweet potato and a slice of tomato.  I'm in veggie heaven.

I'm also in fiber heaven.  Holy crap.  (Literally.)

Why I'm No Longer Eating Bird or Mammal, Part 975

What you think you're eating isn't always what you're eating and there are no systems in place to stop E. coli.

I'm cooking portobello burgers for myself and ground beef burgers for Husband tonight.  I am having serious reservations about this.  Reservations?  No -- make that anxiety.

I think there is an old meat grinder in my parents' garage.  I want to go get that and start buying meat from our local butcher (Everett's) and grinding it myself for Husband.  But still -- you can't trust meat from anywhere because there are no systems in place to test for E. coli.

This one paragraph pretty much puts the nail in the coffin of me ever eating bird or mammal again:

Unwritten agreements between some companies appear to stand in the way of ingredient testing. Many big slaughterhouses will sell only to grinders who agree not to test their shipments for E. coli, according to officials at two large grinding companies. Slaughterhouses fear that one grinder’s discovery of E. coli will set off a recall of ingredients they sold to others. [Emphasis mine.]

Aw hell naw.

True love

Last week Husband came home from work bearing a gift for me.

What was this gift?

It was an off-brand Snuggie.

We both have a very strange sense of humor.

Foodblogging: Recognizing Your Limits

I know I'm sleep deprived.  I recognize this.  And yet I try to push myself when I know I shouldn't.

I wanted to make gumbo tonight for dinner but after discovering that it takes at least 2.5 hours I decided to prepare the ingredients and put it together tomorrow.

I have never, ever successfully made roux.  I've actually had it explode on the stove.  I'm 0 for 3.

Make that 0 for 4.  I found that one can make roux in the microwave.  How could even I screw that up?  Oh, I can.

So in my sleep deprived state my brain shut off temporarily and I forgot that boiling oil does, in fact, melt plastic.  I'm sure you already know where this is going.

So my favorite (real) Tupperware bowl is toast and there's roux splatters all over the floor that I can't be bothered to clean up right now since I'm feeling so defeated.

So what's for dinner then?  It actually turned out for the better.  I made up a box of Velveeta Brand Shells and Cheese^tm®© (you can't go generic with this stuff) but felt like I needed some actual nutrition this evening.  I had a container of pureed sweet potatoes that I had left over after freezing it in cubes for Lily.  I mixed it in with the VS&C and dumped in a bunch of Cajun seasoning since I'm obviously in the mood for Cajun -- and what do you know -- it's really good!  I'm not sure I'm going to eat plain VS&C ever again.

So learn from my mistake, kids.  Boiling oil and plastic aren't friends.

Mama Thursday: Sitting

Quick post because I'm exhusted.  Lily can sit up unassisted now for short periods of time.  It's only a matter of time before she's crawling.

Obviously...

...no blogging for me this week.  Work, busy, blah blah blah.

This may actually be the greatest website of all time

Look at this: Covered.   Artists do their own versions of comic book covers.  I want to try this so bad I may just dig out my drawing stuff tonight.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Jimmy Giegerich covers Lobo 2 
One of my favorite covers of my favorite ever.  I have to say though, I really prefer Bisley's original.  But I like just about anything Bisley does.  Giegerich has that sort of Superjail! gross-out style that is kind of played out these days.

Robert Goodin covers Walt Disney's Comics and Stories 211
I am in love with this.  Ducks!

Roborock covers Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Anventures 6
Seriously, how cute is Michelangelo?

Simón Wilches covers Adventure 299
I'm a sucker for anything that vaguely resembles Mary Blair's style.  And you just have to love that face.

Brian Butler covers the Maxx 2
I am genuinely torn between which cover I like better.  This was such a great comic and show.

Jon Adams covers Avengers 221
This just makes me laugh.  There are several iterations of this cover but this is definitely my favorite.

Corentin Pruvot covers Green Lantern 10
Love, love, love this.  It's just perfect.  I want this on my wall.

Justin McElroy covers Usagi Yojimbo: Daisho
I love how McElroy makes us think of Usagi Yojimbo in this way.  It makes so much sense you wonder how you never looked at him like this before.

Mama Thursday: The Orange Angel/Devil

Lily's teeth are coming in at a rapid pace. It started with one on the bottom left side, then the two front bottom teeth popped out a couple of days later. She has been taking it in stride, only having a few tantrums, if you could call them that, and having just a little bit of trouble at naptime. She's not that fond of chewing on teething toys, cold washcloths, or really anything at all other than my finger, and those teeth could break skin at this point. We had to find something else. After reading a lot of scary things about Baby Orajel, I decided that we'd try something a bit less disturbing. I went with Humphreys Teething Tablets. You dissolve two or three in a 1/2 tsp of water and rub it on baby's gums. I was skeptical even after reading tons of positive reviews online. I was sold after the first use. She went from squirmy and squealy to totally calm and laughing in about 30 seconds.

Once she was happy again it was time for that night's solid food meal. This week we've been trying carrots. I steamed carrots in the microwave until they were super mushy, pureed them with my stick blender, and froze them in an ice cube tray. She's in an every other day love/hate relationship with carrots. She always makes a hell of a face with every spoonful. She'll eat two cubes' worth one day, then the next day she'll only take two spoonfuls and act like carrots are The Devil. Today she refused to swallow them. She left the blob on her tongue, kept her mouth hanging open, and made gagging faces. I should have had the camera handy because we'd totally win ten grand on America's Funniest Videos.

Next up: peas. This should be interesting.

DO WANT

Look at this magnificent cheese tasting set you could win.  No -- I could win.  You go away.  Mine!  Mine!  Mine!

Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?

I'm not the biggest Patrick Swayze fan, but may he rest in peace.

See ya later, Miss Vida.

Foodblogging: End of Summer Fruit Beers

Husband came home from Sinful Wine & Spirits the other night bearing a make-your-own sixpack.  Hit this up if you've never done this before.  They've got a giant cooler full of microbrews and a stack of empty sixpack holders and you can go to town.

He handed me two fruit beers.  Because I'm a girl.  And I like fruit beers, so nyah.

First up was Blue Dawg Brewing's Wild Blue Blueberry Lager.  And by Blue Dawg Brewing I mean Anheuser-Busch.  I'm not even going to comment on this little bait-and-switch.  Back to the beer.  It's good!  They left the lager slightly sweet and you can really taste the blueberries, but not in a fake blueberry flavor kind of way.  When it first hits your tongue you get the slightest bitterness of lager, then as hit rolls around your mouth you get blueberry.  It finishes smooth and surprisingly clean.

Next was Dark Horse Brewing's Raspberry Ale.  (Note to Dark Horse: check your <title> tags…or get your money back from K2 Medialab LLC.)  (Also, "Bee's"?)  I didn't like it quite as much as the Wild Blue but it's a strong contender.  It differs from your average raspberry ale in that the raspberry flavor is there as almost an afterthought.  You take something like Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss, and you can tell that the raspberry flavor comes in syrup form.  It's almost like raspberry Kool-Aid mixed with beer.  Dark Horse's Raspberry Ale is a strong ale with just a hint of real raspberry flavor to finish.  It's not the smoothest of ales.  What's odd about it is that it's extremely dry.  So if you're into that, there you go.  I personally am not into the feeling of not having drank anything at all after drinking it.  It would make a great shandy with freshly squeezed lemonade.  I could see drinking a whole bunch of those on a hot summer day.

Yay, beer!

Toof

I was just informed that Lily's first tooth has popped through today.  Wheee!

Scooter commuting is saving my sanity

Save Money Commuting by Motorcycle? Not So Fast!

Now this is interesting. I crunched my real-life numbers. It's important to note that I overestimated everything and I assumed gas averaged $2.75/gallon.

I ride generally around 24 weeks a year. I estimated starting May 4 and ending October 16 this year. Some years I ride more than this, depending on the weather on each end.
I fill the tank in my scooter every week and it usually costs right around $3 when I do so because I get mid-grade gas.
So 24 weeks times $3/week for gas is $72 in gas for the whole season. My insurance is around $150 for the year (actually I think it's closer to $130 but I'm not 100% sure on that). I'm overestimating that I spend $100 on oil and maintenance for the scoot every year. That brings everything to $322 for the entire riding season. I've already taken the motorcycle safety course and have all my gear so there are no extra expenditures there.

In the colder months I drive to the train station (4 miles round trip) and take the train in to work. Don't judge me to harshly for not taking the bus to the station or taking the bus all the way -- I'll get into that more later.
It costs me $2.25 per day to ride the train due to discounts from work.
My car supposedly gets around 20 miles per gallon (debatable). If I were to drive/train in instead of scooting during these 24 weeks (480 miles total) it would cost me $66 in gas alone. All that comes to $336 for those 24 weeks, and that's not taking into account any car insurance (which I'd be paying anyway) or maintenance (which I'd be paying anyway). And my car probably doesn't actually get 20 MPG due to its age and condition and the fact that I'm driving in town.

Then there's the matter of time saved. Depending on the stoplights, it take me 10-15 minutes one way to and from work on my scooter. I get home with plenty of time to put Lily's milk in the freezer, feed the cats, let the dog out, and maybe grab a snack before I go pick up Lily. I can leave the house at 6:30 and I usually get home around 4:05 or 4:15. It also means I can have a decent breakfast in the morning at home without getting up at 4:30 AM. When I take the train I have to leave the house around 6:00 and I get home around 4:20 or so. I have to dash around to put the milk away, let the dog out, and feed the screaming cats before I hop in the car to get Lily. If I were to take the bus to the train station or take the bus all the way to work and all the way back I can expect to tack on an additional 20-30 minutes to my commute every day. The time that I save when I ride my scooter is priceless.

On a related note, it will be a happy day when construction on Chicago Avenue is finished and the degenerate 5 bus stops rolling down Portland Avenue.

Intersex in the news again

You may have heard about Caster Semenya, the South African runner who was forced to take an invasive test to determine her sex after, well, winning and looking mannish or whatever.

The results are back and Caster is intersexed. I always get excited whenever intersex topics hit the news because it give everyone a chance to discuss a topic that is fascinating to me: gender vs. sex.

There are some great comments here, including thoughts from other IS folks and a doctor.

It is absolutely insane (and ignorant) that anyone would call Semenya's IS status "deadly." I'll give you "potentially deadly," but as much as possessing breast tissue is potentially deadly in that you may one day develop breast cancer, or as possessing testicular tissue is potentially deadly in that you may one day develop testicular cancer, or as possessing a brain is potentially deadly in that you may one day develop brain cancer. Hell, getting out of bed in the morning is potentially deadly.

I applaud Semenya's cheery attitude about the entire situation. She has even dolled up for a magazine cover shoot. As for her running career, I wish her well and hope that concessions will be made.

Gender is gender and sex is sex, and sometimes they overlap and sometimes they do not. In the end what defines us all is our humanity.

Veggie Time!

I am, once again, a vegetarian. Technically I'm pescatarian, but why split hairs. I'm no longer eating bird or mammal.

I've been rolling along since I got pregnant last year waffling between eating a lot of meat and a little bit of meat. I didn't feel great about it, but when I was pregnant that's what my body decided it needed and after that it was just easier to keep going.

The other day I saw a picture so horrifying and terrible that I can't even think about it, much less talk about it. The vague memories that remain after trying to wipe the image from my mind make me start to shake, sweat, and I get an upset stomach. I'm not even joking. I'm not exaggerating in the least.

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Daffodils! Kittens! Unicorns! Flowers! Lily!

OK. Anyway, I'm not eating bird or mammal. This time it will probably stick for good.

Mama Thursday: Let the Toy Avalanche Begin

It's week 23. Lily has reached the point in her life where all her toys are dumb and boring and therefore Mama had to take a trip out for replacements. I managed to score a couple of things that I will no doubt be more excited about than my daughter. The items in question are two Little Golden Books: Richard Scarry's Chipmunk's ABC (the 1963 printing in near-mint condition) and Baby Animals by Garth Williams (I assume it's the original printing and it's also in near-mint condition). I will henceforth be scouring all the local thrift shops in town for more vintage LGB. Awesome! I also got an Exersaucer for a decent price. Lily's been all about putting weight on her legs so she's pretty happy about this.

Like I said, Lily has been fairly finicky about toys lately. We'll hand her, say, a rattle, and she'll touch it to her mouth for a second before tossing it across the room. Soft toys garner a, "What the hell is this?" look after being tossed. The only thing that she really likes is this butterfly/dragonfly thing that makes silly noises and has blinking red cheeks.

There's no new news on the teething front. She's still got molars just under the surface. The drooling has gone down considerably.

I need to get a food mill so I can start making baby food. We're only occasionally giving her rice cereal now since she decided that her highchair is The Devil. I'm trying to warm her back up to it by sitting her in it and giving her toys. But now that all her toys are dumb and boring it's getting tough. She'll take a couple of mouthfuls of rice cereal if it's thick enough (apparently watery cereal is for babies), then she'll get bored and start screaming.

The screaming. The screaming! She found that screaming = get Mama and Dada to pick the baby up. At least I think so. She's technically too young to grasp cause/effect now. Anyway, the screaming is at a register that instantly causes you to stop in your tracks and cringe, moments before your brain shuts down and instincts come down straight from your brain stem that make you do anything to stop the evil noise. I don't know what we can do to discourage this since I revert to a primative animal every time it happens.

She makes up for it by being adorable and cuddly so I suppose we'll manage.

THIS

This couldn't possibly get any more THIS.

No, this is the latest battleground, because America, its discourse and its governance has, to put it as tersely as possible, become all but enslaved to the stupidest, most uneducated, trashiest, most fanatic, most incompetent, most mentally unbalanced, most flat out fucking dumb set of people to ever manage to walk upright.

Jesus fucking Christ, Ohio.

Schools to skip Obama's speech

Mama Thursday: Five Months Old

Lily has been with us for five months. 22 weeks. Wow.

Her sense of humor is starting to come out now. For some reason she has always found my hair to be hilarious. Now she thinks that dogs playfighting is the funniest thing in the world. Some friends brought the dog that they were dogsitting over the other night and when she and Bindi started playing around Lily just busted up laughing. I'm excited to see what she thinks of the dog park.

Because of this, I can't help but see a tiny evil streak in her. That's my girl!

She's already a little counterculture child. Most babies get the two bottom two teeth in first. She's getting her bottom left molars. I'm pretty excited about this -- and so are my nipples.

We took a walk in the stroller without the car seat for the first time. She got to sit in the big seat like a big girl. The shoulder straps are a bit too big, but it's not like I'm taking her out to the racetrack with the thing. She was very happy to be able to stretch out and lay down fully.

Another first this week was Lily's first foray into the world of solid food. She has been very interested in people eating food around her for about a month now. She'll follow my fork to my mouth with her eyes and make little lip smacking noises. So finally we pulled out the highchair, set her up with a bib and her plastic bowl and plastic spoon and she got to experience some very watery rice cereal. She took to it like a champion. She opened her mouth like a little guppy the moment she saw the spoon. I'd say about half of the cereal stayed in. Victory!



I saw some pretty horrific things at the State Fair last week, but two really stick out in my mind:

1. Giant grandma (mother?) in a rented (mobility) scooter right next to 12-year-old (or thereabouts) in rented scooter. The child was perfectly healthy, perfectly non-obese, and perfectly able to walk on her own two feet. Not for long, methinks.

2. Kids who were entirely too old to be in a stroller in a stroller. At first I thought that maybe these kids had younger siblings who belonged in this double stroller and were just taking a joyride, but no, these were seven- or eight-year-olds being wheeled around.

Sorry Lily, but when you're old enough to be in preschool, your ass is walking.

There were quite a few of these contraptions at the fair. I'm conflicted about these. They're kinda cool, I guess, but what's with the seat belts? Does everything need to have cupholders?

Remember the old metal wagons that you'd turn the handle around and fly down hills in?

I like the sun shade idea in theory, but I already use a gallon of sunscreen on Lily every time she goes outside as it is. And how would she ever be able to see the world around her if her entire field of vision consists of Mama and Dada's legs and a sun canopy? Does anybody's kid know what the sky looks like anymore?

Foodie Tuesday: Obligatory State Fair Post

Of COURSE I'm posting about State Fair food. Duh.

All the old favorites were there like fried green tomatoes, Pronto Pups, cheese curds, and the like. But three things stood out this year, and not all in a good way.

Peach glazed pig cheeks
When Famous Dave's announced this new food earlier this year I was horrified. Glazed what? I'm not much into pork anyway unless it's in bacon form or cooked so long it's nearly melting. But I'll try anything once (except brains) so we started the day with these (and chocolate dipped bacon). For $5 you get a generous portion of three cheeks on a stick. Cheeks. For real. Pig cheeks.

These are some good damn cheeks.

Cheeks must be like the filet mignon of pig. I hear you have to cook them for a long time to get them to this state, so they're alright by me. They're incredibly tender and meaty. Kind of like pork pot roast that's been in the slow cooker all day or big chunks of pork ribs that have been in the pit for hours. The peach glaze has just enough heat to get your attention.

Bravo, Famous Dave.


Spaghetti and Meatballs on a Stick
This has been around for a couple of years at least. Skip it. It's dry, flavorless, and the sauce can only be described as insipid.

Deep Fried Snickers
Let's take a moment to examine this, shall we? You have a candy bar. Layers of sugar with chunks of sugar that has been covered in sugar. You take this thing, shove a stick in it, cover it in what is essentially pancake batter, then deep fry it. Then just in case you didn't have enough sugar in there, you put powdered sugar on top.

Because, you know, a chocolate drizzle would be going a little too far.

I think I got one that had been sitting under the lamp too long. It wasn't nearly as good as I remembered it being. The batter was too doughy and chewy and I ended up with powdered sugar all over my shirt. If you're going to spring for deep fried confections, go for the Oreos.

Mama Thursday on Friday: State Fair Delay

There was no Mama Thursday yesterday because we were at the STATE FAIR, BITCHES.

We packed up the baby and the mother-in-law and arrived bright and early at 8:00 am. Henry Rollins was right -- we are now baby roadies. Thankfully our stroller isn't obnoxious and we can still fit everything we need on or in it. I'm looking forward to next year when we can use the umbrella stroller. There were plenty of people with those double-wide stoller abominations. If you are one of those people who a) brings these to a crowded place like the State Fair, or b) brings these inside any of the State Fair buildings, you need to be kicked in the head because clearly the common sense portion of your brain needs stimulation.

Interesting: I did not see a single mullet yesterday.

We started the day in fine style at the Famous Dave's building with Pig Lickers (chocolate covered bacon) and the new peach-glazed pig cheeks. I'll write more about these on Tuesday, but I will tell you that if you're going to eat one thing at the fair this year you should make it the pig cheeks.

This year I bought the most ridiculous thing since my last tattoo. Behold:


And by the way, that's not a pegasus, it's a PEGASUS \oo/, (The hand gesture is compulsory.)

I love the dangling word at the bottom. They could have done "this is my / state fair shirt" but the artist decided that it would be better to attempt to squeeze everything onto the top.

Lily was an absolute delight all day. We took advantage of FM107's Lactation Station three times. She happily snoozed in her stroller much of the time and happily chilled out in the Moby Wrap the rest of the time. She was confused by the cows and sheep, slept through the rabbits and poultry, was indifferent about the pigs, and was very interested in the goats. That's my girl!

So much for that idea

What I was going to eat today in preparation for our State Fair trip tomorrow:

beets, tomatoes, green beans, grapes

What I am eating today because it's August office birthdays free food day in the office:

beets, tomatoes, green beans, grapes, chocolate chip cookies, Cheetos, Doritos, taco dip, ramen salad, breakfast bake, crackers, cheese, and sausage

DON'T JUDGE ME.

Foodblogging: Disappointing Lemon Tofu and Teriyaki Edamame

Looks good, but this was actually kind of disappointing the way I made it. I did nothing to the tofu before frying it and it really could have benefited from some soy sauce or five spice powder or something. But I was really tired yesterday so we had this.

I pulled the rice, lemon chicken sauce, and edamame out of the freezer. I dipped the tofu in egg and cornstarch, fried it, and plopped it on the rice. I shuffled some things around in the fridge and found some teriyaki eel sauce and put that on the edamame.

Boring, boring, boring.

On a happier note, I made a giant batch of great tabbouli with parsley from the garden and have been eating that for lunch this week. It gets better the longer it sits in the fridge despite its somewhat delicate ingredients.

The garden should be perking right up after all the rain we've had lately. The two and a half corn stalks that remain are doing well (okay, that half stalk probably won't make it to harvest) and I continue to pull yellow squash, zucchini, green beans, and cherry tomatoes off every couple of days. There are a ton of green tomatoes right now and I'm looking forward to canning them next month. I'm going to try making and canning ketchup this year. We'd like to keep buying Annie's Naturals brand ketchup (no HFCS!), but at over $5 for a small bottle we just can't do it.

Free stuff from Aveda

Aveda Stimulus Coupon

Here's a coupon for some free lotion, tea, stress-relieving hand ritual (dirrrty!), 5 minute massage, and makeup touch-up. Rock!

Foodie Tuesday: Zucchini Pancakes and Balsamic Corn Salad

This was my second helping. Please excuse the mess.

It feels good to cook again. It feels even better to pull stuff out of the garden and put it directly to use.

The Zucchini Pancakes are from Meatless Monday. I used one large zucchini and one medium yellow squash from the garden and had to add an extra egg and another two tablespoons of flour to get the batter right. And when they say to squeeze out the veggies after shredding, they're not kidding. I was surprised at how much oil these fritters didn't soak up while frying. They weren't heavy or greasy at all.

The corn salad started in my head as a simple mixture of tomato slices, fresh corn, and Italian dressing. We were out of Italian dressing and our tomatoes were a bit mushy so it evolved into this. This could easily be turned into a raw food dish by not microwaving the veggies. This is a good way to deal with mushy supermarket tomatoes because they soak up the dressing anyway. The fresh corn is really what makes this, so don't cheat with frozen. If you try to use canned you should stand back, take a look at your life, and try and figure out where you went so very, very wrong.

Balsamic Corn Salad

kernels from 2 large ears of corn
1 tomato, coarsely chopped (or a bunch of cherry tomatoes, halved)
1 good handful of fresh green beans, trimmed and cut into 1" lengths
1 clove garlic, minced
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp brown sugar, packed
1 Tbsp fresh basil, minced
salt & pepper, to taste

Cut the corn from the cobs by putting a small bowl or cup upside-down in the biggest bowl you have. Use the small bowl/cup as a platform to rest the corn cob and slice the kernels off into the big bowl. It's messy no matter how you do it, but at least the corn will be contained in the big bowl.

Put the corn and green beans in the microwave with 1 Tbsp of water for 3 minutes. In the meantime, whisk together the balsamic, oil, sugar, basil, salt, and pepper.

Add the garlic directly to the hot veggies and let this cool down for a couple of minutes before adding the tomatoes and dressing. Toss and serve.

Yields 4 servings

Mama Thursday: Thank You, World Book.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Mark Twain

I was thinking about what in particular I hated about my last job. It wasn't so much the job, but the people. That place was full of early-twenty-somethings. And though these people were only a few years younger than myself, they had a shockingly different worldview. You know what I'm saying -- it's the one where they want everything handed to them on a silver platter simply because not getting what they want when they want it would wound their fragile, all-important self esteem.

After finding myself surrounded by this caliber of people for several years I slowly got jaded. Surly, even. My new "normal" had become "bitter". This frightened me.

Now why in the hell have I been thinking about a job I quit two years ago? Here's where I bring us back to Mama Thursday.

I'll be damned if I let my daughter grow up to be one of these vapid, helpless non-adults. I had to rely on a great deal of self-sufficiency while growing up, and while the reasons for that may not have been ideal, self-sufficiency is something I want to make sure Lily has. One of the greatest gifts of my childhood was a set of encyclopedias. If I had a question about something or wanted to know more about some random thing I'd head on over to the bookshelf. Sometimes I'd just plunk down, pull out a random volume, and start reading a random page. Does that make me a giant nerd? Maybe. But it sparked a lifelong interest in learning. I can say that I literally want to know everything about everything. I want Lily to feel this same sense of curiosity about the world around her. I don't want her to retreat into herself the second she can work a computer mouse. Why read a book when there's Facebook, Netflix, video games, and TV? It only takes a few brain cells to operate these things. Why strain oneself?

I love where she is right now (unable to even sit up by herself) but I'm super excited about when she learns to read. We'll explore the world together, encyclopedias in hand.

Foodie Tuesday: What What Pizza Pizza

I'm a foodie. I'm the first to admit that I'm a total nerd when it comes to all things food. Bring on your locally grown vegetables, your artisinal cheeses, your fancy-pants prix fixe menus complete with amuse-bouche, dessert, and accompanying cordials.

But sometimes a girl just wants some greazy-ass pizza.

Pizza. Not flatbread. Not a speck of whole wheat or goat's milk or truffles or marinated anything.

Sometimes a girl just needs some Crazy Bread.

Yes, my friends, that is when a girl goes to Little Caesar's. You know, the place that doesn't deliver. The place that used to give you not one, but two pizzas. I'm not sure what happened to the two-pizza thing but Little Caesar's is back in the Twin Cities and hot damn -- it's better than I remember.

The crust has that fried-in-its-own-grease crisp to it. The sauce has more high-fructose corn syrup than a 2 liter bottle of Coke.

The Crazy Bread?

Let's just say that if Crazy Bread was a stripper her name would be Destiny, her boobs would be real, and she would volunteer at the food bank between law school classes.

So don't be afraid -- get on down to the strip mall and pick you up some pizza and Crazy Bread for under $9. Just try to not sneak in a piece of Crazy Bread on the way home. I bet you can't.

Issues. I have issues.

Sooooo.... Someone had some low blood sugar issues yesterday.

Because of a freezing computer I didn't get a lunch break because I was the only IT person in the office. Not that it would have mattered if anyone else was there at the time. I worked on that issue from 11:00 am until 2:30 when I finally decided I needed to pump milk due to missing my noon pumping. Then my boss showed up and I handed the issue off to him before my head exploded.

Stupid laptop... it was freezing up and the hard drive was clicking suspiciously. Easy enough, thought I, it's just a dying hard drive. I imaged up a new laptop, moved the user's files over (including his GINORMOUS Lotus Notes mail file that took FOREVER), and voila... or not. Got the old laptop with the new hard drive back to his desk and it's freezing up too. Okay, must be a hardware issue. Put the new hard drive into a new laptop. Still freezing. WTF? Swapped out the mouse, the power supply (hey, you never know), and the dock. Still freezing. Started it up with absolutely nothing plugged into the dock. STILL FREEZING. WTF? How could this be a software issue on a brand new image? ARGH.

Meanwhile there are umpteen hundred people coming up to my desk and asking me to fix their problems that aren't really problems (JUST CLICK OK ALREADY) instead of calling the help desk like they KNOW THEY SHOULD. And I'm trying to pretend that one small orange is going to tide me over until I get home and have a proper meal. And I'm also trying to forget the fact that I haven't exercised in over a day and I'm fat.

I still don't know what my boss had to do to it last night. I'm afraid to ask. I think that user's office is possessed by Cthulu.

Honestly

This new Green Day CD kind of sucks.

Mama Thursday: I'm not a fucking mommyblogger

I solemnly swear I will not prattle on and on about how Lily is OBVIOUSLY destined for Harvard because she ate a blue crayon and everybody knows that blue heals spinal cords and oh look how adorable she is in these 1,409 photos.