Bobkitty

 

Lily: Whassat?

Me: It's a Bobcat.

Lily: [nod]

Later...

Me (holding on to terrified Lily): You don't have to be scared.  See, Grandpa's just driving the Bobcat.

Lily (taking her face out of my shoulder): Bob... kitty?

Yet another cooking slump

My cooking has been extremely blah lately.  I'm in a stressed-out cooking funk.  Example: this is my breakfast this morning:

Leftover rice from the other night (frozen ginger chicken from Aldi) and leftover roasted cauliflower from last night (frozen pierogies, onions, Polish sausage, and cauliflower).  Monochromatic.  Thank cats the furikake's on there to give it a little, um, color.

Every morning for breakfast we have eggs and toast, toast and eggs.  Sometimes we splurge and have bacon or sausage.  When we run out of eggs Lily and I will have oatmeal and Husband will eat out.  Boring.  I need to make some freezer breakfast food so we can change things up with a burrito or a casserole every now and then.

For a couple of weeks I was eating nothing but salad for lunch.  Salad, salad, salad.  Boring, boring, boring.

I think it's time to bring back theme weeks.  Korean week.  Middle Eastern week.  South American week.  I have to dig myself out of this hole and I think the only thing that will get me out is a trip to an ethnic grocer.

Hot, Hot, Hot Heat

The TCF building says it is 103 degrees outside right now.  I am stuck behind my desk with my little heater blowing hot air at my legs.  I went outside for a bit to read some stuff for class and was annoyed that I had to come back in to work.  I love this weather.

My dear Minnesotans, less than a month ago we were all complaining about how cold it was.  Shut your traps and enjoy this.  Winter is just around the corner.

Our dog, Bindi, likes to lay in the sun for hours.  If it wasn’t for my irritating lack of UV-blocking fur, I would do the same thing.  I love the heat.  Today is especially glorious because for once it’s not stiflingly humid.  I’d like to take the dogs to the dog park tonight but Nora is obese and there isn’t an accessible pond at the Airport Dog Park.  Even with all the water bowls that people bring for the dogs I worry about her overheating.  I might institute a bit of a diet and exercise program for this dog.  I’ve never seen a dog who has never given birth actually develop breasts like hers.

Some random happenings

School

I’m reaching the halfway point in my anthropology class.  I turned in my first school paper in 12 years last week and I’ve got to say that it’s not exactly my best work.  I’m good at reviewing and proofreading for other people but I have a hard time disconnecting from my own stuff.  I had to summarize a scholarly journal article.  I chose one about the religious and social lives of infants of the Beng people of the Ivory Coast.  I’m hoping this paper was at least 80% coherent.  My next assignment is to “research a culture of [my] choosing and report on some aspect of social structure discussed in this module.”  I think I might do either Mennonites or Hasidic Jews.  This assignment will be posted in our discussion groups’ message boards and we all need to question and comment on our groupmates’ stuff.  So in addition to having to read eleventy-jillion articles in addition to three chapters of our textbook, I also have to read nine other students’ research.  I just don’t know what I’d do if I was taking more than one class right now.

Skating

I’m going to be playing roller derby again – yay!  This time it will be with other roller derby refugees retirees in a drama-free, business-free, spectator-free zone.  I’m so fucking jazzed about this.  All I want to do is skate and hit girls for exercise.  I don’t have time for committees or events or WFTDA or any of that bullshit.

Schedule

Derby will happen Wednesday nights and D&D happens on Thursdays so I’ll be getting out of the house way more than I’m used to.  I’m sure at some point something will have to give but I’m going to stick it out.

Dog/Poop

We’re dogsitting our niece-dog Nora indefinitely.  She celebrated her arrival by taking a giant dump in the yard three seconds after she walked through the gate.  Now we’ll have twice as many piles for Lily to point at and say, “poop?”  I can find no end to the humor in this.  Any time Lily finds something dirty on the floor, like cat puke, mud trailed in from the garden, or a stray pile of leaves in the yard, she points and says, “a poop?” in the cutest voice you can imagine.  No Lily, that is not a poop.  Yes Lily, that is a poop.  She will also stop everything she is doing, grab her diapered butt, and say matter-of-factly, “poop.”  

Lily

She is definitely trying to string words together now.  Almost everything she says relates back to Lily, Mama, and Dada.  “Lily likes that.”  “Mama’s shoes.”  “Lily’s shoes.”  “Dada’s food.”  We’re going to have to get used to having a large dog in the house now.  Lily has already been knocked down a few times by Nora so we have to be extra vigilant.  We discovered this last week that she’s terrified of bugs and worms.  We’ve had a ton of moth caterpillars in the yard this year and despite me trying to tell her that caterpillars are baby butterflies and the Very Hungry Caterpillar wasn’t scary at all, she seems horrified that I would ever pick one up.  I thought I almost had her at “baby butterflies,” though.  She said, “babies?” and her eyes lit up, then ran away again.  I try to get her to look at the worms in the garden but those are too scary too.  I have to do a sweep of the sandbox before she’ll play in it to make sure there aren’t any lost beetles or caterpillars in there.  Hopefully she’ll grow out of this with exposure.  That shouldn’t be too hard because our backyard is a bug wonderland.  I saw the first juvenile earwigs of the season this weekend.  We seriously need to get some backyard chickens because I’m getting sick of having to stomp on them.

Garden

The garden is finally fully planted.  I’ve also got squash growing on the sunny side of the house and along the fence in the backyard.  I’ve got a few leftover plants that I haven’t decided on what to do with yet.  I’ve promised a tomato seedling to my D&D host.  I have a ton more tomato plants, a couple squash, and some various herbs that I don’t have room for.  The lavender seedlings I started are doing better than the last few years’ attempts but I’m not sure where to put them where they won’t get overwhelmed by the creeping charlie, grass, or wild violet that grows rampant in our front yard.  The front is looking amazing this year because our lilies seem to be spreading themselves around, our irises are gigantic, and a couple of unnamed plants are flowering pink and yellow to break up the massive hostas that all need to be split.

Crow update

I got an update from the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center about the hapless baby crow we brought to them.

The crow you brought to us is doing fine.  The vets did note poor feather condition, but did not find any other medical issues.  The crow is currently in our avian nursery with other crows the same age and being cared for by our dedicated volunteers and interns.  The crow will be released into appropriate habitat with the crows it is being raised with as they will for bonds.  The crow family it was taken from will not longer recognize it as part of their flock.  Thank you for rescuing the crow and bringing it to our center.

Sincerely,

Lynnette

Staff Wildlife Rehabilitator

Help support Minnesota's wildlife by making a donation to the center at www.wrcmn.org or by giving your time as a volunteer.  Volunteer information and application is available on our website.

Hooray!  I wish I had more time.  I'd love to volunteer over there.

Confession time

I've had a past history of depression and mental illness.  Thankfully I've moved past the horribleness of puberty and only very rarely get panic attacks these days.  But I'm hypersensitive to anything that might be a red flag to a relapse or a signal that someone else might be falling into the abyss.

Ever since Lily was born I have been having a very hard time with stories about harm coming to babies and children.  It's well beyond the usual oh-wow-that's-a-really-awful-news-story-please-pass-the-peas concern, but it's threatening to send me into a serious downward spiral.  If a story involving a child comes on the news I will change the channel, remove myself from the room, or attempt to mentally check out.  I hide Reddit links to the stories so I don't have to see them all day.  I will click off a page if I see anything mentioning abused, dying, or dead kids.  Even typing the words makes me lightheaded, shaky, and nauseous.

I had the misfortune of stumbling on the movie Trainspotting a few weeks ago while Husband was watching it on TV.  I can't even describe the scene, but if you've seen the movie you know what I'm talking about.

(I'm going to throw up)

(I can barely type this now.)

It seems silly but I think I'm actually experiencing PTSD because of that scene.  I get flashbacks that absolutely stop me in my tracks.  I have to remember to breathe... it was a doll... it wasn't real... just a movie... it wasn't real...

I'm not joking.  I'm at the point where I might explore therapy.

(I'm starting to cry.  I need to stop)