Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Appropriate for the new year: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Oh yeah, time off

I don't have to go back to work until next Tuesday. A week from today! How rad is that?

Tomorrow would have been a half day anyway so my boss just said I could have the whole day off since I've got some extra vacation time to burn. Then Thursday and Friday are company holidays. I took Monday off for my gestational diabetes test. Not bad considering I had no idea we had Friday off until yesterday.

My plan is to cram as much Korean language learning as possible into this week. I've done pretty well the last few days. It's amazing the amount of information you forget if you don't look at it every single day.

One of my cousins in Korea has offered to help me out with this but I don't know what his plan is. He asked for my address so we'll see. On a related note, I looked up how much it would cost for two people to visit Korea for a week. Airfare and hotel alone would run us at least $4000.

Ouch. Sorry family, it's going to be a while.

Sandra Lee Strikes Again

Cake Wrecks: Kwanzaa Will Not Be Spared

...I have no words.

I miss having a rat to cuddle

The Temple of the Rats | Cool Things In Random Places

When I finally get to go to India this will be one of my first stops. I love rats. Love them. Even those giant cat-sized ones running around the city.

I really do miss having pet rats. Maybe when Lily is old enough....

Kitchen of my dreams

I wish my kitchen looked like this.

Awesome! I'd love to be a part of Canada.

As if Things Weren't Bad Enough, Russian Professor Predicts End of U.S. - WSJ.com

End of December randomness

• Is it possible to OD on Christmas cookies?
• Hooray, we don't have to worry about a crib for Lily anymore!
• That reminds me, it's time to update the baby registries.
• I barely slept last night and today my back is not in a good way. I hate the smell of topical analgesics.
  
• It's probably just all the crap I've been eating the past couple of days but I just feel icky. I really hope I'm not coming down with anything. Tylenol is barely taking the edge off my headache and I'm really queasy.
• Maybe I'll make myself some warm soymilk with honey to settle my stomach.
• Oh yes, that was definitely a good decision.
• Our new garbage can is the most awesomest present ever! Here it is in action. My parents like to take simple things to a very surreal level.
  
• It is very quiet in the house without Shillelagh.
• My brother and SIL gave us a metric fuckton of baby clothes. I reiterated my No Corporate Clothing rule and rejected some Pooh stuff and a Minnie Mouse thing. Husband snuck a Pooh hat and an Eeyore shirt in there. Fine. But what bothered me was the drama that already started about my No Corporate Clothing rule. Look, if I don't want my children to be walking billboards for Disney/Nickelodeon/Gap/Whatthefuckever that is my choice and, I believe, should be respected. That's why we have this information right on our two registries. If we get any of this stuff it will be promptly returned without apology. I don't think I'm being an ungrateful brat here. I have my standards.
• Grr, I'm really worked up now.
• I really need to get my hands on a Windows XP disk with SP2 included. This install is taking forever.
• We have a wedding to go to tomorrow. A wedding. On December 27. Two days after Christmas. That is whack.
  

More Shillelagh drama

My parents now have custody of Shillelagh on a trial-run basis. It has been a rough day of hormones and hurt feelings and guilt and sadness, but I really believe that we made the right decision.

But yes, I do still feel like a failure.

Stuttering

Lineman Tackles Personal Hardships Head-On - Local News Story - KETV Omaha

The above story makes me smile. I struggle with stuttering too and haven't been able to really move past the humiliation of it all. It's not bad enough for a lot of people to notice it but when it happens (several times a day) I always get self conscious about it. Thus I don't talk much.

I guess it's nice to see someone who is able to confront it and be comfortable with it in a very visible, public way.

And this is for my husband: go big red!

Being thankful

She's big, she's clumsy, she's annoying, and she farts a lot, but Shillelagh's home.

We have no idea where she slept Wednesday night. She ended up being found almost a mile away by a family who saw her hanging out in their yard. So thank goodness she wasn't stolen. I was convinced because she is a very, very, very friendly dog. It baffles me that she went all day, all night, and most of Thursday without running up to anyone who would notice her tag with her name, address, and phone number on it. Also I noticed on Petfinder that someone a block away from us on the same street had lost a dog the day before Shillelagh went missing.

Thanks to everyone who had kind words to say on this. It really helped a lot! I've been a ball of stress due to a lot of things lately and this whole situation was the cherry on top of my shit sundae.

Now Husband wants to keep her again. I still think she's not the right dog for us and I still feel guilty about that. Only now it's like super guilt because of losing her. She was very quiet and subdued yesterday for a change and that was nice, but I'm sure she was just tired and hungry from her ordeal.

So I'm thankful for what we have but at the same time I want it to go away. It's a weird place to be. Life is complicated.

We got our dog back!

She is home. She is safe.

Dog Drama

Husband let the puppy outside this morning to do her business and when he went to let her back in she was gone. Vanished. Without a trace. The fence gates were all latched. So either she learned how to climb over the fence (likely) or she was stolen. I put up some ads on Craigslist and tonight I get to visit Minneapolis Animal Control and the Humane Society to see if anyone dumped her there. I've called the two vets that are closest to us but no luck. I'm worried but I'm not freaking out.

A couple of days ago we finally came to grips with the fact that she is just not the dog for us. This causes me no end of guilt. We researched the breed. We did everything we could to make it work, but it just wasn't enough. We yelled, we cried, and finally decided to find her a new home. Now two days later she disappears. Coincidence? Karma? I don't know. I still feel like a horrible person. Neither of us ever expected to be those people with the ad on Craigslist for our dog.

If we ever find her again, know anyone who wants a dog?

:(

Bring out your dumb

So there's this giant rolling rack of computers by my desk that's full of desktops and laptops going back to Dell because their leases are up. While I was taking inventory of them I had no less than four people stop, gawk, and say, "WOW OMG WTF R THESE 4 LOLOLOL??!!one!11!!eleven!" (OK, so maybe they didn't say that exactly but that's what they sounded like in my hormone-ravaged head).

Me: "They're lease returns from [one of our companies]."

Them: *stare*

Me: "...they're going back to Dell because they're old."

Them: "WOW LOL U SURE GOT LOTS 2 DO ROFL"

Me: "..."

Just a few minutes ago -- I swear this is true -- another person walked by and did the stop and gawk thing.

Person: "What are these things?"

Me (thinking this person couldn't possibly mean what I think they mean): "Lease returns from [company]."

Person: *stare*
Person: "Are they DVD players or something?"

Me: *brain explodes*

The funniest moment of the year, hands down

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bettie Page has died

Bettie Page dies at 85

I am sad. Her later years were troubled but I admire her for so many things. She was one of the first women of her time to be upfront about taking care of herself and her body by exercising. Her carefree smile and radiant beauty never betrayed the horrors of her childhood. RIP, Miss Page.

Can we please do something now?

North Korean Prison Camp Escapee Tells of Horrors, Worries About Those Left Behind - washingtonpost.com

Hey, if we're going to be the World Police anyway, how about going into a country that really, truly needs help?

Man says 'slap me with a salmon' | Metro.co.uk

Man says 'slap me with a salmon' | Metro.co.uk



Bonus points: check the image caption on the article.

A sadly misinformed "teacher"

This is one of the most entertaining things I've read in a long time.

This is wonderful.

NoFo: Proposition Hate

Still an introvert

I'm in a pretty good mood today. Really. I just don't want anyone to talk to me.

Alien Me

I gotta be honest. I've always thought pregnant women look bizarre. Grotesque. Alien. I've never understood why people always gush about how beautiful the pregnant body is.

My feelings haven't changed now that I'm the bizarre alien body lady.

The thought of getting one of those body casts gives me the willies.

I'm really not trying to be Debbie Downer about the whole pregnancy package, but there just isn't a lot to enjoy about the process. They never tell you that in the books and websites.

The good thing is that Lily has been kicking away. Other than a severe case of insomnia tonight (it's almost 3:00 AM) I've been feeling fine. Especially since I got a new prescription for heartburn medication that I can actually take. Holy crap, I forgot what it was like to not have heartburn 100% of the time. Yay, science!

Mormons coverting dead Jews to Mormonism? Blogger converts dead Mormons to teh ghey

Daily Kos: Converting Dead Mormons into Homosexuals (Update!!)

What in the FUCK

Bush set to relax rules protecting species - Yahoo! News

The Onion -- so true it's more sad than funny

I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Is our children learning?

"What’s happened to writing? What’s happened to language?”

Satisfaction

I am quite satisfied with my weekend overall. It started off with some rough news (and the next couple of months will be a real challenge on that front too) but several things made up for it.

We spent over two hours at Babies R Us on Friday registering for everything. I mean EVERYTHING. We actually had to bring back the scanner at one point because it was full. Now we have to look online and decide which crib set we wouldn't actually mind seeing in our house. It's funny considering we don't actually expect anyone to buy us any of that stuff. We'll probably be Craigslisting for all the furniture.

I popped onto the registry site for a few minutes this morning and found a few items that were evidently mistakenly scanned... like some kind of Mickey Mouse football outfit (eew...it's branded, football-related, and the wrong sex) and a Nintendo DS game. We don't even own a Nintendo DS and I don't even remember seeing any DS games in the actual store. Hmm....

Husband and our friend painted the nursery. It's Sherwin-Williams' "Brave Purple." I call it lilac. It looks fantastic against the white trim and moldings.

I spent Saturday mostly in front of the TV. Sunday was spent putting in some serious hours on God of War 2.

Ahhhh.

It's a...

GIRL!

YES! THIS! THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, EVER!

Forget Red vs. Blue -- It's the Educated vs. People Easily Fooled by Propaganda | Media and Technology | AlterNet:

We live in two Americas. One America, now the minority, functions in a print-based, literate world. It can cope with complexity and has the intellectual tools to separate illusion from truth. The other America, which constitutes the majority, exists in a non-reality-based belief system. This America, dependent on skillfully manipulated images for information, has severed itself from the literate, print-based culture. It cannot differentiate between lies and truth. It is informed by simplistic, childish narratives and cliches. It is thrown into confusion by ambiguity, nuance and self-reflection. This divide, more than race, class or gender, more than rural or urban, believer or nonbeliever, red state or blue state, has split the country into radically distinct, unbridgeable and antagonistic entities.

What's got me all fired up this morning

I have never heard a more impassioned, eloquent argument. If you are one of those horrible people (I said it, and I'll say it over and over again) who are against gay marriage, I defy you to argue his points. I challenge you to look into your soul and ask yourself what your motives are.

This next story happened in Canada, so this neanderthal will be charged rightly with a hate crime. Only 31 states in the USA have hate crime legislation that includes sexual orientation. Minnesota does not. Think about that.

Lesbian mothers attacked and beaten outside of their kids' elementary school while their six-year-old son watched

I am flabbergasted:

Raped in the Military? You'll Have to Pay for Your Own Forensic Exam Kit

What has you outraged?

What are you going to do about it?

Awesome

Today I saw two camels and a donkey being led into the Target Center.

The best part? The guys who were handling the camels were wearing cowboy hats and boots. I've had ridiculous images in my head all afternoon.

Fun with StatCounter

Just checkin' my StatCounter stats for this site. Best search engine keyword referral ever:

japan girl urinal -clown -elephant

...Though I'm still not entirely sure how they ended up here using that combination.

It is bittersweet...more sweet than bitter

Mixed results on measures banning same-sex marriage - CNN.com

I have refrained from talking about who precisely I was going to vote for until now. I'll be honest, I struggled with this one.

I have been a fervent Ralph Nader supporter for the last 8+ years. I proudly voted for him in 2004.

I did not vote for Nader yesterday. I voted for Obama. I made the decision to give him my vote last week. This one was far too important to leave to the assumption that Minnesota is a blue state. I don't agree with Obama 100%, but it's close.

So I'm ecstatic about our new president. So were our neighbors, who were launching fireworks last night. I forgive them. I probably wouldn't have gotten any sleep last night anyway.

But the bittersweet part comes in when it comes down to the state propositions and amendments. I'm thrilled that MN's environment and arts funding amendment passed. I'm happy that Minneapolis's per-pupil funding increase passed since our kids will be partaking in that extra $585. So yay Minnesota!

I'm super excited about California's Prop. 2 passing (maybe it will spark similar legislation across the country), but I'm biting my nails on Prop. 8. No -- make that I'm severely pissed off that Prop. 8 (and its doppelgangers in AZ and FL) even exists. If the question of whether to ban interracial marriage would have appeared on ballots in the 50s or even the 60s, there's no doubt that the ban would have been passed through popular vote. Ditto on suffrage and just about any civil/human rights issue you can think of.

Speaking of writing hate and bigotry into law, the assholes in Arkansas prohibit unmarried sexual partners from adopting or fostering children. Bravo, dicks, Because what we all need are more unparented children coming out of orphanages. I have not heard if this affects single folks.

A giant thank you to South Dakota for not banning abortion. Yay, Planned Parenthood!

And Michigan, you are also awesome not only for going blue this time around, but for allowing embryonic stem cell research and furthering science for all. And -- AND! Michigan! Medical marijuana! You guys rock.

Nebraska, you surprised me with your ban on discrimination/preferential treatment based on race. Now if only you could have squeaked in sexual orientation....

One of my favorites is Washington, which has legalized physician-assisted suicide for terminal patients. Another win for reason!

South Carolina finally stepped into the real world and raised the age of sexual consent from 14 (!) to 16. 14?!

So there you have it. It's only going to get more interesting from here on out.

BUUURRRRNNN!

Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes: Ken Ham: "I'm not a moron! No, really!"

This...*pause to wipe tear*... is the greatest work of pure reason I have every read.

Ken Ham is the fruitcake wacko creationist nutjob responsible for the Creation Museum in OH. Ha ha! More name calling! You just can't help it with a chunderhead like this guy!

Weekend report

Had a nice, relaxing weekend for once.

Interruption: a co-worker just told me that I'm glowing. First time! Whee!

Husband and I went back up to Duluth all by our lonesome. Our missions were accomplished: we brought our water jalopy/hoopty float to its new home, we hauled up the 70's cabinets that were taking up space in the garage, and I made pumpkin pie. The weekend was spent burning things, eating terribly, and lounging around. By some miracle Bindi didn't smear her face in any dead fish or bear poop.

I was a tiny bit disappointed that I didn't get to dress up for Halloween as we left that morning, but I really didn't have any solid plans for the evening anyway. I'm sad that we were lazy and didn't go and see my grandma's new chiahuahua puppy, but neither of us had any inclination to leave the house at all.

We hit up Burrito Union on our way back home on Sunday. The combination of burritos, good beer, and coffee is pure win every time. Plus they have local music shows. Why don't we have a place like this in Minneapolis?

Totally forgot about daylight savings last night. I was all showered up and ready for bed when Husband reminded me that it was, for all intents and purposes, only 8:00 PM. Woke up at 3:30 AM. Got up at 5:00, ate breakfast as slowly as I could, flipped between the local morning newscasts, came in to work early. Stupid DST.

Hormones

I'm sitting here in bed trying to figure out what to do. I'm tired, but not tired enough to sleep, and not tired enough to get up and go watch TV in the living room. Husband is at band practice so it's just me, the dog, and the laptop in bed.

I find myself wishing it was tomorrow already, because then we'd be on our way to a little R&R up north. Somehow the prospect of having to sleep in the meantime is bumming me out. I normally love sleep.

The most strikingly annoying thing about pregnancy is a total lack of satisfaction in any aspect of life. I'm always uncomfortable. I feel bloated. If I'm not starving I'm full to bursting, then I'm starving again within an hour. I always have to pee. I can't sleep through the night and I can't stay awake through the day.

It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it.

Fuck it, I'm going to sleep.

o.0

Words...they fail me.

I've always wondered

32%

This quiz was provided by - Wholesale Clothing

Dear Abby to the rescue

From Dear Abby:

While it may seem that someone can't give undivided attention to a speaker while doing something with his/her hands, that person might have Attention Deficit Disorder or be a "kinesthetic" learner. While most people absorb information through seeing and hearing, some actually need to keep their hands occupied in order to listen."

Huh. You learn something new every day. My entire school career has been vindicated. I am a kinesthetic learner!

I used to get in trouble in school because I would have to be drawing during class. Every class. All the time. I tried to tell them that it was the only way I could concentrate on what they were saying. Nobody believed me. Every progress report and report card said, "draws/writes during class." I'd try to stop. My grades would plummet. Or I'd fall asleep. Or fidget so bad I felt like I was going to crawl right out of my skin.

Even to this day I can't stand meetings at work because it's the same thing. So now I have evidence that I'm not crazy or rude. HA.

Michele Bachmann will hereby be known as "Mrs. Crazypants"

The Uptake: Michele Bachmann: "Not All Cultures Are Equal"

Infuriating:

There is a movement afoot that's occurring and part of that is whole philosophical idea of multi-cultural diversity, which on the face sounds wonderful. Let's appreciate and value everyone's cultures. But guess what? Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal.

And then there's this:

And that's what I had mentioned in my previous response is that America is a great nation, with great values. We are equal opportunity for all. And it's because we all came here and we came together as one. Out of many one. Multi-cultural diversity says out of one many. And if we go with tribalism we will not long be one nation united under God.

What planet is she living on? I wish I lived in her district so I could not vote for her.

MN Wild - are you serious?

Roy scores in overtime, Sabres rally to win 4-3 - NHL - Yahoo! Sports

I turned the game off to go to bed when there were six minutes left in the third. The Wild were up 3-1. I figured the game was over. Not long after I had dozed off my cell phone went off right next to my head with a text message of the final score.

Sabres 4 Wild 3 in 1 OT.

Nothing brings a girl out of peaceful slumber quite as jarringly as a score like this.

The Buffalo coach said the most honest thing I've ever heard a professional sports coach say: “You’ve got to win a little bit ugly sometimes and you’ve got to get lucky,”

Harry Potter's void

I've finally joined the rest of the world and finished the last Harry Potter book. But instead of feeling a sense of closure, I feel empty now. There's nothing else to look forward to. Everything got wrapped up neatly and now I have to find something else to occupy my brain.

As for the book itself, it definitely held my rapt attention all the way through. I was surprised by who died, and I was more surprised by who didn't die.

This is what I want to do when I retire.

Air Racing - The Big Picture - Boston.com

THIS.

A Letter to Pro-Life Supporters

Really interesting article about transgender children

The Atlantic Online | November 2008 | A Boy's Life | Hanna Rosin

It's not politics; it's being human

Final Debate: McCain Mocks Women's Health In Abortion Issue | Crooks and Liars

If you read nothing else, read this.

This needed to be said a long time ago

'Muslim' shouldn't be a slur - Los Angeles Times

Geekin' out to the new Trek movie photos

But I think the real question is: is the new Uhura just as hot as the old Uhura?

Yes, yes she is.

Who, me?

Me? Up since 8:00 AM on a Sunday watching Hugh Laurie clips on YouTube? Never....

There's nothing funnier than Brits making fun of us Yanks, because, frankly, we deserve it.

The greatest candy ever made the best commercial ever

Ja.

Still alive, however, without cake

Bonus points if you understand the title. Me? Never played it.

It's been radio silent over here for a little while. I've had other shit to do. Like sit on my ass and watch House reruns while my real house crumbles around me. I swear I'm going to do the dishes tonight.

Unless something goes awry today I will actually be cooking real food for dinner. I will try to take pictures and blog it. On deck: stuffed carnival squash.

Had a team photo shoot last night at Porky's. I was hesitant to go. After all, I'm not actually skating this season. But someone told me to go so I went. I'm really glad I did. I miss those chicks. I'm going to practice tonight to prepare for my line calling debut. I don't know 99% of the new recruits and there are a ton of them.

Of course this means that I have to figure out how to tape the new episode of House (and Fringe because it's neat). This means I get to tear apart the TV stand. The more I think about it the less inclined I am to do it. Really? Me planning my life around a TV show? Who am I? Maybe I'll just wait until the rerun is on Hulu.

Speaking of Hulu, I've decided to watch that Firefly show and see what the heck the big deal is. I've never really gotten past ST:TNG in the sci fi world. Let's be honest -- for the most part sci fi TV shows are giant steaming piles of crap. And have you ever seriously watched any of those made-for-TV-movies on the Sci Fi Channel? I came across one sometime last year while flipping channels where the premise was - I shit you not - ZOMG THERE'S A VOLCANO UNDER NEW YORK CITY!!!11! I got about ten minutes in before my brain started to melt and I had to watch something more stimulating, like the Home Shopping Network. There's willful suspension of disbelief and then there's regression to the IQ of amoebae.

Argh, being pregnant makes me watch TV. That makes me sad.

I am screaming in my head

Best of Mother Earth: 1996 McDonalds Hamburger

Monday Randomness

If I was single, chances are I probably would not even own a TV. Husband turned Dish Network back on last week after a summer off. I was extremely "meh" about it -- at first. Then I discovered that they play reruns of House on USA. All the time. Marathon style. I've been in a state of Hugh Laurie bliss for days. Hot damn, I can watch House seven days a week now. It's nice to get caught up on storylines that I missed since I only started watching the show last season. I'm planning on buying the DVDs too, which is totally weird for me since I historically have only bought DVDs of Japanese TV shows.

I canned tomatoes all by myself like a big girl last night. I usually get it on the hot canning action when my stepmom and her mom do it and have been reluctant to try it on my own. I don't have a big canning pot or those nifty jar lifter tongs. My biggest pot was barely big enough to process pint jars so I did four half pints and one full pint. I followed the instructions in my trusty Better Homes & Gardens cookbook so hopefully nobody will be getting botulism from my handiwork.

The kid across the ally offered to pick up dog poop and mow our lawn last night. We gave him $12. Is that fair? We had no idea what the going rate is these days and he seemed reluctant to even accept anything. I told him to come back if he thinks we owe him more. Nifty: the kid used a manual push mower.

I have eggplant from the garden but I do not want to eat eggplant. That sucks. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

I will be making my triumphant return to the kitchen this week. It has been far, far too long since I've cooked anything more strenuous than boxed pancake mix. We actually went grocery shopping for actual ingredients this weekend. Tonight will be either meatballs and egg noodles (Swedish for me, red sauce for Husband) or fettuccine alfredo with grilled shrimp.

Aldi rocks. So hard.

I have been eating (gasp!) meat lately. I have felt absolutely terrible about it. This isn't going to last much longer. It's only because I'm eating whatever I can keep down right now. Yesterday was particularly bad. Husband had some boys over to watch football and eat breakfast. We had thick cut bacon from Everett's, maple sausage, and andouille sausage to go along with our pancakes and eggs. Man, that bacon was good but I felt like crap on a stick the rest of the day. The night culminated in me not being able to move from the couch and wishing that the Tylenol would hurry up and kick in already. Good thing there was another House marathon on to help take my mind off of things.

I was a busy bee in the kitchen yesterday. I made chocolate crinkles. I have to say, that was a great decision on my part. Toot toot! There's my horn.

I want to open a cheese shop.

Food of my people

Polish sausage, pierogies, and onions.  Oooooohhhh yeeeaaahhh.  It's even better the second day.

So yeaahhh, the vegetarian thing has fallen by the wayside momentarily and had been replaced by the whatever-I-can-keep-down diet.  The baby likes cereal and potatoes.

In the news

• CERN's large hadron collider will not, I repeat, will NOT kill us all tomorrow.  So relax.  And watch it live!  Don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out if we're actually operating in 12 dimentions rather than the paltry four we know about.
  
• It is entirely possible/probable that Kim Jong Il recently suffered a stroke.  Almost time to break out the party hats!
• I wanted to buy Spore, but thanks to EA's draconian, accusatory DRM I will refrain.  And even though it would break my heart, I would also avoid The Sims 3 if they keep this up.  Oh Maxis, why did you sell out to EA in the first place?
• I refuse to install Google's Chrome (or Chrom or however they want to misspell it) due to privacy concerns.  Don't be evil, indeed.
• I'm already sick of football.

Don't let this guy into the US

Let pupils abandon spelling rules, says academic

"Change has to be [from the] bottom up. It is already happening on the internet – people are simplifying spelling all the time.

That's because people on the Internet are fucking knuckledragging stupid.

In which she talks about politics and social issues

Not to get all conspiracy theorist-y, but I am fairly confident that some, if not all, of the violence caused by supposed "anarchists" at the protests are perpetrated by police agents provocateurs. They've done it before -- just ask anyone involved with the monthly Critical Mass rallies.

I've gotten reports that people are being harassed and/or arrested and/or assaulted by "peace officers" simply for making eye contact, using a public restroom urinal, or standing on a public sidewalk. This is, to use a woefully underpowered word, unacceptable.

A big thanks goes out to John McCain for handing us hippy commie liberals Sarah Palin on a silver platter. That was very, um, masochistic of you. Cheers!

Also getting big laughs is Norm Coleman's one-trick-pony attack ads on Al Franken. Really Norm? The tax thing is all you've got? And paying an eight year old child for this? That's the lowest of the low. Anyone with two functioning neurons knows that Franken's tax guy screwed up, not Franken himself.

I'm super pumped tonight for the Ralph Nader rally tonight at Orchestra Hall. How bad did I want these tickets? Bad enough to brave the BO stink of a small but charming bookstore to purchase them. I would have taken some time to browse the selection, but dang, dudes. A little soap once in a while wouldn't hurt.

Back to Sarah Palin, since she's so completely loathsome. This woman stands for everything I am against. Also, she stands against everything that I am. Pro-NRA, anti-choice, anti-environment, warmongering, pro-corporate, anti-GLBT, anti-sex education, right-wing Christian extremist cuddlebunny ARGH. That makes me more nauseous that I already am. This liberal, pacifist, non-hetero, pro-choice, pro-consumer, non-white, non-Christian environmentalist will be taking her votes elsewhere. And if all else fails I suppose I could buy a chunk of land up north and declare it a sovereign nation. All I ask is for the government to GTFO my business.

Things just don't work out

We had big plans this weekend. My brother-in-law got married on Sunday. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was Saturday. I had planned on going to the protest at the RNC yesterday, then we were going to the Take Back Labor Day show at Harriet Island. Husband's band was going to move from our basement to their new practice space too.

Aside from the wedding and some of the band moving, nothing else was accomplished. We stayed overnight at my parents' place on Sunday since it was two miles away from the reception hall. My dad was convinced that our truck was going to turn into a giant fireball with us in it if we drove it -- which was certainly a distinct possibility -- and proceeded to tear it apart and fix it all day yesterday. It was a combination of a lot of things gone wrong but now I'm ecstatic to report that our truck is in good working order and we're no longer running at about one mile per gallon.

Unfortunately that meant that we were stuck in the south suburbs all day. My stepmom took me to K-Mart and bought me an awesome new vacuum (she's got this vacuum thing. Don't ask). Dan went to the gift opening. I stayed in my parents' basement and fell asleep in front of the No Reservations marathon on the Travel Channel because I was nauseous and I'm pretty sure I was a not very attractive shade of green.

I'm disappointed that I didn't get to protest and channel my inner hippy peacemonger. I hear the cops were bitches though and I suppose tear gas and mace aren't good for a developing fetus.

We'll be going to see Ralph Nader speak on Thursday so I have that to look forward to.

Foodblogging: The Brothers Deli

I had lunch at The Brothers Deli today. It nicely complimented what I was really craving, which was a giant sticky bun. Gods help me, I almost walked to overpriced, mediocre Keys Cafe. Pregnancy does awful, crazy things to your mind.

Anyway, Brothers. I've been curious about this place for a long time, having seen it from across the hallway at Chipotle many times. The place is always hopping, and that's a good sign in the Skyway. I got there early -- around 11:15 -- and it was empty, which suited me fine.

I ordered the sweet & sour cabbage borscht, which came with a popover, and got a chocolate chip cookie. The borscht was very sweet, but it was just sour enough to cut it. It was full of cabbage that was pleasantly crisp-tender and not at all slippery or overcooked. The broth had bits of tomato in there too. It was delicious.

Now, I come from northern Minnesota, and I know popovers. These guys do popovers right. The outside is crisp but not overdone, with a delightfully messy flaky crumb that gets all over your hands. Crack that open to reveal a moist and tender, almost custardy, airy interior. It's served with honey butter. That's all you need. Don't even think of sullying it with jam.

The cookie was large and moist and had the right ratio of cookie to chocolate chip: 50:50. A great way to cap off my sugar feast.

If I ever decide to eat meat again I'll be sure to try the bulgogi sandwich. Can a deli do bulgogi right? I might have to have my husband try it and do a full report.

The salads in the deli case are gigantic and tempting and they have more than a few vegetarian breakfast and lunch options. I will be back after I'm not pregnant to try the lox bagel for breakfast.

Despite the signs proclaiming authenticity, there is bacon on the menu. Just so you know.

Feeling slightly deceased

This whole pregnancy thing has really sucked the life out of me. I'm so tired all the time that it's hard to do the things that I enjoy doing, like exercising and cooking and eating. Plus my new super smell+ nausea powers make it all but impossible to do any quality cooking, much less blog about it. Lately the previous Oreo entry is about as gourmet as I've been able to muster.

I do have a restaurant review to offer shortly.

Something so wrong, something so right

Step 1: untwist Oreo cookie
Step 2: insert peanut butter
Step 3: reassemble

Thank me later.

OMG

Stop the presses, hold the phone, wait, woah. They are making a live-action Akira movie.

I repeat: THEY ARE MAKING A LIVE-ACTION AKIRA MOVIE.

Exhaling

- Half the office is out on a boat today so it's reeeeeaaalllllyyyy quiet around here.

- I have been craving nothing but junk food lately. This baby is going to come out with a candy-colored chocolate shell.

- Took my prenatal before bed last night instead of first thing in the morning and the nausea seems to be way more tolorable. I wish I could say for sure that I have found the solution to that problem but my nausea has been operating on an every-other-day schedule and today is an off day.

- Speaking of nausea, it was so bad last Friday that I was unable to go to the MOA as planned and re-live my childhood by seeing NKOTB. That's OK because my sister-in-law went and reported that they were an hour late and only did three songs. Laaaame.

- My first big pregnancy appointment with the midwife is tomorrow. No idea if there is an ultrasound involved. Hopefully there is! Husband is coming with just in case.

- I'm on a pregnancy message board and am horrified -- HORRIFIED that there are people who would defend expectant mothers who smoke. It is beyond comprehension to me.

- Every little thing seems to be setting me off lately. Like, how can I in good conscience bring a child into a world so full of utter stupidity? People in Atlanta wondering where all these Russian tanks are that the news keeps on about. Insipid, intelligence-insulting political ads. Kids being handed diplomas when they can't read at a 3rd grade level. George W. Bush.

- I'm tired all the time.

- I have to re-do the fence around the garden and I'm too tired to do it when I get home from work.

- Husband was awesome last night and did laundry, put away the dishes, and started cleaning the kitchen.

- If someone goes in for a belly touch once I start showing they're going to lose a hand, or a minimum of two fingers. I'm going to write "NO TOUCHY" on my belly band.

- I'm super sad that I missed the first half of the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics. I started getting all teary-eyed when they showed that little kid next to Yao Ming.

- Saw me some women's beach volleyball last night. Hell yeah, bikinis. Yee-haw!

I dare you to look away

It's a clock! It's bizarre jazz music! It's bizarre Japanese dancing!

Your awwwwww of the day

Twin Baby Moose and Sprinkler - Video

Carrotmob: please please watch this

Carrotmob Makes It Rain

I submitted my name to be an organizer in the Twin Cities. We'll see what happens. Please take some time to watch this. Get signed up on the mailing list. Get involved. We can make a difference!

We're not all bad.

The Website Is Down

Bun, oven, and me

Sooooooo........ I went in to the doctor on Friday because of some strange happenings as far as Aunt Flo is concerned. I had the whole yearly physical workup and gave some blood and peed in a cup and all that. Towards the end when I was waiting for some quick test results to come back the doctor came back into the room. "Whoops," she said, "I forgot to grab the results of the pregnancy test." She disappeared for a while. It seemed like forever. I wasn't expecting anything. I was actually expecting her to come back and tell me I was barren or something. So when she returned and announced that it was positive, I was in shock. And then I was making odd high pitched squealy happy noises and crying. Really? Me, pregnant?

We've been officially trying since the beginning of April. And since I'm about eight weeks pregnant right now, our plumbing is potent.

This weekend was a blur. We were originally going to wait until after the first ultrasound because we're all gun-shy since we know two people who have miscarried in the first trimester in the last six months. But in the end we decided to stay positive. We both suck at keeping secrets like this anyway. I think if I would have tried to keep it in, the fetus would have burst out Alien-style and started waving flags. Our entire family officially knows now, as well as friends. We had fun telling Husband's dad last night at his birthday party. Everyone else was clued in and when we sang Happy Birthday we all sang "happy birthday dear grandpa." The look on his face was priceless. I wish I could bottle that.

I made Husband drive me to Ridgedale on Friday because the Calhoun Barnes & Noble didn't have the What To Expect When You're Expecting pregnancy journal. We sat at Applebee's (because we're a couple of classy kids like that) and started filling in the birth plan section.

My pants are already tight. No morning sickness, though! My dad said that my mom never got it either. ROCK.

Dreams, what?

I laid in bed trying to sleep last night but my brain wouldn’t shut off and my heart was pounding like I was about to have a panic attack. I got up and made myself a cup of bedtime tea and took a handful of alfalfa tablets. Some deep breathing exercises and dog petting later I was asleep.

But oh, the dreams.

I dreamed that I was out with my parents in a sort of strip mall situation. My dad and I went into a little shop/restaurant. My dad asked for a couple of things from the older lady behind the counter, and then added, "and the money in that register there." We didn't have weapons or anything, it was just understood that we were robbing the place. The old lady kind of froze but then managed to open the drawer and froze again. I shouted at her to hurry up and grabbed some of the money, which was in the drawer in no particular order. $100 bills were mixed with $5s and $10s. I only grabbed some of the money because I didn't want to be cruel and steal all this poor old lady's money. My dad and I calmly left and tried to find my stepmom in the getaway car. We ended up at the other side of the parking lot and we bragged about what happened.

WHAT.

Next I was meeting my husband at some mall that sort of resembled Gavidae Common. He had evidently stolen a bunch of money too and I had just deposited some of it in the bank, which I was nervous about because what if the bills were marked? Anyway, I met up with my husband but we were immediately approached by cops. They took only my husband into custody and charged him with murder (falsely) but there was no mention of the stolen money.

Uhhhh, subconsious? Hi, it's me. The one time I try to fall asleep naturally you pound me with dreams like this? If this keeps up I'm going to go back to the Sominex.

Mmm...broccoli.

Gnarls Barkley - "Who's Gonna Save My Soul?"

Brilliant.

I need $750 RIGHT NOW.

3D Milky Way in a glass cube

Thoughts on PZ's Great Desecration

Pharyngula: The Great Desecration

Nutshell for the lazy: kid at a Catholic college gets in big trouble because he smuggled out a god-cracker from mass. Threats to kick him out of school, etc. PZ and countless others point out that for crying out loud it's a friggin' cracker -- an object, and a particularly un-tasty one at that -- and there's just no reason to get any undies in any bunches because we're not living in the Middle Ages anymore. To prove his point, PZ stabs a god-cracker with a rusty nail and throws it in the trash to a copy of the Koran, The God Delusion, coffee grounds, and a banana peel.

OK, we all caught up now? While I appreciate the sentiment behind the action, I'm not sure I'm 100% behind bullbaiting the religious. I'd say I'm only about 93% behind it (the sentiment, not the bullbaiting).

At some point the point had to be made, and as clearly as possible. Let's be honest here, most of the super-religious are not exactly long on critical thinking skills. The very idea of a cracker being literally the body of their lord and savior is so absurd as to be hilarious (also, gross!). It's flour and water that's been mass-produced and stamped out in some factory by some minimum-wage workers, and probably not in the USA.

Looking at it from a Buddhist perspective, I completely agree that the cracker is just stuff, and stuff is meaningless. (P.S. I don't consider myself a Buddhist, just in agreement with Buddhist philosophy.) However, I don't think anyone can reasonably expect the religious to not get whipped up about it. They already believe they're eating their god (!). It's a giant leap to think they will use the next few neurons down the line to conclude that that sort of thing is completely silly. And it's near-insane to think that they will actually look at where the taboo of desecrating the crackers actually came from (again, for the lazy, it boils down to OMG KILL TEH JEWS). Catholics are intellectually stuck sometime in the fourteenth century.

But really now.

Crackers.

Are threats of bodily harm to PZ and his family and threats to kick the original cracker-smuggler out of college really worth crackers?

Random stuff, gardening

• I have three full weddings and one reception to go to in August. Yikes.
• I really hope I can go to Chicago on the 16th.
• I was unexpectedly roped into scrimmaging with the MNRG All-Star team the other night -- my first practice back this season. I am having difficulty raising my arms. I'm going to go back tonight for some more punishment.
• I have to mulch the garden tonight now that Husband mowed the lawn and I've got a full bag of grass clippings.
• We ate the fruits of my first harvest last night: green beans! There were about four our five pea pods too but I polished those off as I was picking them. There's just nothing better. The tomatoes and cherry tomatoes are going crazy right now and should be ripe within a week or two. The squash isn't doing so well. I'm getting blossoms but no fruit. I might go out there with a q-tip and cross pollinate tonight.
• I'm on my third try with herbs. I planted chives, basil, parsley, lavender, and garlic in some of the terracotta pots that came back from Duluth. We'll see what happens this time around. I made my own potting soil with seed starter, compost, and dirt from the yard.
• I need to weed the front and side. Badly.
• My hostas, including the ones that I split last fall and this spring, are going coo-coo-ka-crazy with blooms right now. I've got one lily that had one flower (orange) a few weeks ago and is now on the second flower (red). I had no idea that one lily plant could have more than one color. My other lilies look close to blooming but I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't happen this year since they're new transplants.
• I need to find some plants that love full sun and heat for the right side of the house. Maybe I'll just plant more lilies.
• I miss Bindi. My dad hijacked her for one more day.
  

I love those wacky Kiwis

$5000 reward offered for Rice's citizen's arrest

What a scumbag

McSexist: McCain's War on Women

Holy shit, check out these amazing moves!

7 Amazing Trick Shots You Have to See to Believe

Catching up

My aunt and uncle picked me and Husband up Friday after work and we drove to Duluth. Yay for carpooling! We grabbed a drink at the Sunset with my parents and turned in early. Got up way too early on Saturday and we all went over to my grandparents' house. The shed on the side of the garage needed some serious roof repair. When the new roof was done we cleaned the shed out for my grandma. It was the strangest collection of crap that my grandpa had accumulated over the years: multiple gas cans, broken water pumps from a Dodge my grandma doesn’t recall owning, broken doors and windows, more plastic nursery pots than I've ever seen in one place outside of Linder's, and other assorted random scrap. One very full trailer was taken to the dump.

Husband and I managed to score a couple of wooden lounge chairs that will be refinished and will find a new home on our front lawn and I also got a TON (seriously, I think they actually might weigh a ton) of terra cotta pots that once belonged to my great-grandpa. This includes many many many of the tiniest, cutest little pots I've ever seen. I have no idea what I'm going to plant in those.

Sunday was faaaabulous. My parents went off to the dump and Husband and I stayed behind to enjoy the weather and the water. We threw sticks for Shillelagh while Bindi took her usual spot on the parked pontoon boat to sunbathe. I floated on a tube at the end of the dock where Husband was sitting and we drank beers and chatted. My pasty belly made a rare appearance and now it's pink but not at all painful. The dragonflies battled for the privilege of landing on my knee, elbow, and hand. It was wonderful. We walked down to Porky's for some pizza and drank too much with my parents. We actually drank them out of both Bell's Two Hearted and Summit EPA.

We saw The Dark Knight last night… holy crap YES. Then we walked around Calhoun and felt inadequate so we went to Pepito's and got fish tacos. Got home in time for House.

Tonight there will be skating. And it will be marvellous.

The Alternative Friday Five

The Alternative Friday Five:

1. Do you like to cook? If so, what?

Anything and everything. I will even cook you meat if you ask nicely.

2. If you do like to cook, have you always or when did you start? If you don't like to cook, have you tried it without success or simply never gotten into it, or ...?

I have always been adventurous in the kitchen. I started making mac and cheese on the stove when I was 7.

3. What's the most ambitious-for-you dish you've ever prepared? How'd it come out?

Nothing really sticks out. Every day is an adventure. I did attempt to make real croissants once but they didn't turn out. I think it was too hot and humid for them.

4. Have there been fears, hesitations, or items of squeamishness you've struggled with in cooking?

I hesitate to cook with squid and octopus at home. I don't know why. I guess I figure it's easier to get my fix at a restaurant.

5. If you could learn to prepare one food perfectly the way you like it every time, what would it be?"

Mandu! It can be tricky to cook.

Morning fury

Anti-gays stall N. Carolina bullying bill - Yahoo! News

Hey NC kids! Feel free to beat up those fags!

I hope Bill Brooks chokes on a hot dog.

---

Fla. officer fired for demanding free coffee

You think this is an isolated incident? Think again. Cops are acting like we're living in a police state all over the country.

---

Two-thirds of Egyptian men harass women?

AARRRRRGGGHHHHH

I would eat this if I ate mammal, then I would die

StumbleUpon has led me to some pretty interesting things lately, but this one piqued my interest:

Cheese filled, bacon wrapped, battered, deep fried hot dog

I took the liberty of plugging the numbers into FitDay to see what kind of damage this would wreak upon a person. Assuming that each hot dog holds about a tablespoon of spray cheese and the coating contains 2 tablespoons of beer and 1 tablespoon of flour, and then assuming that it sponges up a tablespoon of oil during frying, it looks like this:

Calories: 913 (that's 76% of my calories for a single day)
Fat: 84 g (an average female should only eat between 30-40 g per day)
Carbohydrates: 12 g (this is pretty modest, as the average person should get about 300 g per day)
Protein: 25 g (average is 40-60 g per day)
Sodium: 2177 (average is 2400 per day)

Note that one of the guys in the article ate four in a day.

My horoscope is accurate once again

Friends might be feeling like you're hiding out from the world right about now, so touch base and let them know that you're doing okay. Time is something you want to spend by yourself, and this is a healthy thing to do. Your energy level is strong, but it's not social. Mixing with other people and sharing small talk is not as fulfilling as curling up with a favorite book, taking a long walk, or experimenting in the kitchen. If you're a homebody right now, that's a good thing!

Yeeeaaahhhh. A long walk, hmm? Maybe if it's not storming out after work I'll go skate around Nokomis. Unfortunately we have puppy kindergarten tonight so I can't park myself in our comfy chair with my latest library acquisition. This book is ridiculously goofy and entertaining and full of horrendous sports cliches that I think are used tongue-in-cheek. I found it in the New Arrivals section and picked it up because, well, it has a goalie on the cover. Yep, I judged the book by it's cover. It's what I do. (HOCKEYHOCKEYHOCKEYHOCKEY)

I'm using it as a distraction from the bonehead trades that have been going on in the Wild offseason because that shit's just too depressing to even think about.

Ahh crap, now I'm all worked up.

Doug Risebrough: “I’m interested in signing him long-term, but what I’m interested in doing and what he’s interested in doing might not be the same, and my number long-term and his number long-term might not be the same.”

Yeah Doug, we all know you're interested in NOT PAYING HIM (or anyone else). One of our last remaining real NHL players. They guy who's actually out there scoring points on a pretty consistent basis. But who cares as long as it's a full house every night, eh? You're making money hand over fist either way! The Wild is just a farm team for the rest of the NHL, right?

Doug Risebrough: "HAY GUISE I HAS CORY LOCKE" (paraphrased)

Really? Really? That's the best you can do? Well good for the Houston Aeros then. Now how's about getting the Wild a couple of real centers?

I made the wrong career choice

Specs on the Large Hadron Collider

Man spent $1,000 a week on beer? - Yahoo! News

Man spent $1,000 a week on beer? - Yahoo! News

Let me put this into perspective for you: that's about 83 bottles a day. Even if by "small bottles" they mean smaller than the standard American 12 oz-ers, that's a fuck of a lot of beer.

Further: if he was to drink all 16 of the standard waking hours, that's about 5 bottles an hour. Every hour.

Foodblogging: Raw Food "pasta" with tomato-basil sauce

I've always been curious about raw food. Unfortunately most of the recipes out there call for some pretty specialized equipment. I'd love a food dehydrator, juicer, and Saladacco but I just don't have room in my kitchen for such things. So here's a recipe that can be done with standard kitchen equipment, or a knife if you really wanted to get down that way.

Here's three out of the four ingredients. Four tomatoes, a sprig of basil, and a clove of garlic will make your sauce.

I didn't feel like dragging out my food processor that's got a broken lid anyway so I opted for my mini chopper that came with my stick blender and worked in two batches.

Once it was whizzed up I tasted it and added a little salt and pepper. There was no need for anything else. These tomatoes are so sweet and full of flavor right now!

Here's ingredient number four: zucchini. I used a vegetable peeler to get thin slices (oh how I wish my mandolin wasn't crap) and cut them down to roughly fettuccine/tagliatelle width.

...and that's it. Not exactly the most complicated recipe in the world. I guess that's the beauty of the raw food thing. I was a bit apprehensive about the raw zucchini thing. I adore cooked zucchini but wasn't sure how it would taste without being sauteed in butter or baked with olive oil or grilled or anything. Verdict: amazing. I'm sold. I was also worried about it being filling enough. It was. If you are looking for something really substantial then you could always add some chopped cashews to sprinkle over the top and serve with sprouted bread or something.

Raw Food "Pasta" With Tomato-Basil Sauce

4 medium tomatoes (preferably the kind on the vine or from your garden)
1 sprig fresh basil
1 clove garlic (or more/less according to your taste)
4 medium zucchini

Puree tomatoes, basil, and garlic in food processor or blender. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Slice the zucchini into thin strips using a vegetable peeler or mandolin or supreme knife skillz, then cut lengthwise into desired noodle-like width.

Top zucchini with sauce.

Serves: 2
Calories: 110
Fat: 2
Carbs: 24
Protein: 7

Things you could do to this: use several different types of tomatoes, add a little fresh oregano or tarragon, use yellow summer squash or cucumber, add nut cheese, sprinkle with sunflower seeds.

Twisty-turny

Well crap. The last few days sure haven't gone down the way I expected them to.

Friday:
Was going to Cafe Maude to hang with some Gabsters and see Roma Di Luna. The ass weather combined with a huge spike in anxiety (social, driving in bad weather) lead to near-epic fail.

Saturday:
Was going to go to the Dragon Festival and/or berry picking. Neither of those things happened. Was going to go down to the parents' house in Burnsville and cook them dinner for watching the dogs last weekend. That didn't happen either. Did go on a grocery shopping adventure to Noodles and Cub. Got extremely agitated by all the people at Cub. Got out before panic attack meltdown. Spent two hours putting together spring rolls and pho, then husband decided he wanted to go out to eat with a friend. After much frowning and sulking on my part I was lured away from the fruits of my labor by the promise of Little Szechuan. Dan dan noodles and Crispy fried fish were acquired. I could almost see through time.

Sunday:
Ate the rest of my pho for breakfast. Was ready to have my first mangosteen experience. Almost cut my hand off trying to break into the thing and it turns out to be rotten anyway. Boo. Note the three implements it took to get to the "fruit."

Home - Think

Home - Think

Thirty grand?! I guess I'll be scootering for a week bit longer....

They paid for cage fight, got gay love - Yahoo! News

They paid for cage fight, got gay love - Yahoo! News

HA!

Randomness now that I'm back

- I would be happy happy if I never had to hear Perez Hilton's voice ever again.

- Or celebrity gossip either for that matter.

- I saw some guy turn another guy's face into hamburger on some UFC fight the other night. Even so, I have decided that UFC is boring.

- I am officially addicted to God of War and the guy who lent us his PSP for our trip may have to rip it out of my cold, dead hands if he wants it back before I finish the game. I will also be purchasing the PS2 version very shortly.

- It's Monday, and that means it's House night! WOO HOO, HOTNESS!

- I'm emotional about something I can't talk about. So I won't. Nyah.

- I like weddings about as much as I like funerals. Being in a church is bad enough. Being in a church for a wedding is worse x10. Being in a church for a wedding of two people that I don't even know is bloody awful.

- This laptop that I'm trying to fix is making me angry.

- I could really go for some fresh spring rolls and vegetarian pho.

- Omaha was a festival of food as usual. Kinda sad we didn't get a chance to go to Gorat's. Crab legs, mmmmmm.

- The new Mustangs SUCK. Actually, all Mustangs suck, but this one sucks harder because it looks like a Taurus. They're not built for short people (me) or tall people (my father-in-law). There is NO room in the backseat. The suspension is ass. Sure, you can corner on a dime but you have to feel every crack and pebble in the road. And seriously? Only a V-6? Blah.

Thursday randomness

- I think I may take voice acting lessons at the Guthrie.

- We rented a car this morning. We ended up with a Mustang. Watch out, Iowa!

- French vanilla iced coffee may be the perfect summer beverage.

- I woke up with a scratchy throat and I'm having a mini freakout because I may have been snoring last night.

- I have to get new contacts. I can't ignore this anymore. I can't even wear my current pair anymore. At least I have cute glasses.

- Our boy cat Grady was super affectionate this morning but when he was scratching at the blanket to try and get under it and cuddle with me he scratched my back. A few more scars and I'm going to look like I got mauled by a rabid marmoset.

- I love my job. I'm leaving at noon today.

- I ate a POUND of bun chay from Quang last night. I didn't mean to. I looked down and it was all gone. Oops. So like an idiot I'm skipping breakfast this morning.

- It was chilly on my scooter ride this morning! It was so nice yesterday. What happened?

- Dang it, I'm hungry. I should go eat the salad I didn't eat yesterday.

- Is it noon yet?

- I'm still feeling the afterglow of the creative spurt I had the other night. I've been bouncing this comic idea around in my head for about two years. I had characters and a very skeletal plot *sorta* but I just couldn't seem to make it work. I finally came up with a story outline that I like. Phew! I may just be getting my creative mojo back after all. Maybe one day I'll restart my webcomic that I abandoned because of derby. I let the domain name expire and everything.

- I am excited about seeing Dan's grandma this weekend.

- Is it noon yet?

OMG WILD WTF

Wild trade Rolston's rights to Lightning

Wow, weekend.

My entire Saturday was taken up by a commercial shoot in Nordeast. I was unexpectantly placed in a co-starring role. WEIRD. It's going to be super dorky and cheesy and awesome.

Yesterday we slept in until 10:30. I can't remember the last time I was able to sleep in that long. This was, of course, after getting up at 5:00 AM to let the dogs out and feed them breakfast. Husband was hungover so it took some convincing to get him up. I was starving and full of energy. We had breakfast at Hot Plate, then I had to go to Michael's to pick up stuff to make the Greatest Skate Bag of All Time©™§µω.

Neither of us was excited about going home so we went to Como. After fighting off the hoardes for a parking space (there may have been chainsaws and golf clubs involved) we took a stroll around the zoo. The Como Zoo is much smaller when you don't go through the buildings. And what happened to the bears? It's been a few years since I've been there. I used to go almost every weekend when I lived in St. Paul. Almost had a social anxiety meltdown in the Conservatory so we got the heck out of there and went down to the lake. We wanted to rent a paddleboat but srsly? $15/hour? No thanks, guys.

I got soaked in the big fountain and was fully expecting to hang out there until I dried off but Husband wanted to get moving. So we took my damp ass to the Humane Society to pet the fuzzies.

Husband was having a serious sushi craving so we checked the ol' bank account to see if my paycheck cleared and -- woo hoo! -- it did. Too bad Tanpopo was closed because I was having my own udon craving. It's OK because it looks like they don't have much for sushi anymore. We went back to our 'hood, went to Ba-Gu and feasted. Unfortunately the patio was full but whatever; the food was good and it was happy hour. I had some of the best tako nigiri I've ever had.

It's Friday!

From the Alt Friday Five:

1. Do you like to have music playing while you work? Why or why not? If yes, what is your favourite music or type of music to hear then?

I occasionally listen to music at work but mostly I'm an FM107 junkie.

2. Do you like to have music playing while you travel (walk, drive, ride, etc.)? Why or why not? If yes, what is your favourite music or type of music to hear then?

Yes! I need music when I'm driving. It's imperative when I'm driving by myself because that's my chance to sing. So naturally I choose singable stuff. Tori Amos and Lily Allen are frequent guests in my car. Whenever I wear my full face helmet on my scooter it's like I'm in my own personal recording booth so I get to sing to myself without anybody knowing.

3. Do you like to have music playing while you have sex? Why or why not? If yes, what is your favourite music or type of music to hear then?

Yes. Metal. Never found anyone who also enjoys this, however.

4. Do you like to have music playing while you're relaxing or having fun? Why or why not? If yes, what is your favourite music or type of music to hear then?

Yes, of course. My playlists include punk rock, metal, rock, pop, j-pop, classical, classic rock, oldies, and a tiny smidge of hip hop -- Brother Ali.

5. In general, what role does music play in your daily life?

Huge.

***

Friday Five

1. You have the summer and plenty of money to travel abroad. Where all would you go?

Southeast Asia. Thailand, Vietnam, Bali, Indonesia, maybe up into China.

2. What foods would you be sure you got to eat?

Everything without bird, mammal, or insect! Everything! NOM NOM NOM

3. What landmarks would you be sure you got to see?

Everything!

4. What airline would you use?

Whatever had the best deal.

5. Would your knowledge of other languages influence where you went? (i.e. would you be more likely to go to France if you spoke French)

No.

1. Who would you take with you on a road trip?

My husband, duh.

2. What states would you visit?

The Southwest and West Coast.

3. What national parks and/or monuments would you go see?

The Grand Canyon, any number of desert national parks, the Pacific Coast Highway, Yellowstone, Devil's Tower.

4. Las Vegas: Overrated or a Must-See?

Eh. I'd mostly go to eat.

5. How long would you be gone?

Ideally 2.5-3 weeks.

The state of the parenting union

This valuable life lesson on avoiding real life is brought to you by Cleveland Beachwood, Ohio.

Edit: thanks, Spicehound! I've only been to Ohio once (Dayton) and was traumatized. No offense. ;)

A perfect summer day

Yesterday was an absolutely stunning day. It was my non-running day (I'm trying to do two on, one off) so I buckled down for a strength training challenge from a group on SparkPeople that has been kicking my ass, Project Mayhem. Yes, like Fight Club. I started with 20 minutes of moderate cardio, then did 20 minutes of circuit training working mostly the abs. Husband came home and I hemmed and hawed and ultimately decided to join him on his mile run. Whoops, I wore the wrong bra and only got half a block (OW). I walked home, put on a proper boob holster, then met up with him halfway on his route.

We ate some leftovers but we were still hungry so we decided to go to the store and get stuff for salad. At the last minute husband decided we shouldn't waste the beautiful day so we grabbed the dogs and went to Minnehaha. Dodged the Minneapolis Park Police (whoops -- we're not paying for off-leash licenses!) and took the back trail down to the dog park.

Shillelagh, the puppy, has been thus far very non-Chessie-like when it comes to water. She would only reluctantly go in and she wasn't too happy about it. Like a light switch being flipped, she decided that water is the COOLEST thing EVARRR. Dada and Mama threw sticks for her to retrieve all night. Bindi even got in for a swim, which is really, really, really weird. So after a couple of hours of hiking around we went back to the truck with two dogs who were not as exhausted as they should have been and two humans who were paying the price of stupidly forgetting to bring bug spray.

Side note: if you've never been to Minnehaha Falls or the dog park, GO THERE. It's absolutely the most beautiful park in the Twin Cities. Even if you don't have dogs, take a walk down to the dog park. It's worth it, trust me. Just remember to bring bug spray.

We stopped by the store and got our salad supplies, went home, and had pre-bedtime giant salad.

Yay.

Old news, but nonetheless horrifying

Lesbians sentenced for self-defense
All-white jury convicts Black women

By Imani Henry
New York
Published Jun 21, 2007 2:58 AM

On June 14, four African-American women—Venice Brown (19), Terrain Dandridge (20), Patreese Johnson (20) and Renata Hill (24)—received sentences ranging from three-and-a-half to 11 years in prison. None of them had previous criminal records. Two of them are parents of small children.

Their crime? Defending themselves from a physical attack by a man who held them down and choked them, ripped hair from their scalps, spat on them, and threatened to sexually assault them—all because they are lesbians.

Read the rest here.

Wait, what? Or, the tale of the unnecessarily confrontational neighbors

Like probably everyone, we have good neighbors and we have not-so-good neighbors. The not-so-good neighbors have people coming and going at all hours, weekly shouting matches outside, toys spread out everywhere -- you know, the usual. We're not sure who exactly owns the home or who, exactly, is the parent of which of the five or so children.

Oh, the children.

The oldest one, a girl, is polite and not a problem. The boys are rude, foul-mouthed, and disrespectful. They range in age from probably about six or seven to maybe ten. The boys like to shout things at me and anyone in our backyard from their upstairs window. Rude things. Horrible things. personal things. They've done this to just me, me and my husband, our friends, my family, and my husband's family. We have up until now been taking the high road and just ignoring it. We didn't want to encourage it or make it escalate into anything worse, if that was possible.

Last night after an extremely long and taxing weekend entertaining out-of-town guests my husband and I were sitting out back and trying to decompress. From the window come the familiar voices. "Hey! Hey you two! Look up here! Hey! Hey girl! Hey young girl!" ("Young girl?" I guess I'll take that as a kind of compliment.) "That's an ugly outfit you're wearing!"

I pleaded with my husband with my eyes. He wasn't aware of the things that they said to me when he wasn't around. I told him. Sure, I may have been baiting him a little bit but I was just tired of it. I am a non-confrontational person 99% of the time. He's got the deep, booming voice and communication skills. I'm 5' tall, apparently young-looking, and I have a stuttering/stammering problem when I get flustered.

Our backyard is supposed to be our sanctuary. These kids have desecrated that.

The kids came running outside (they had been going in and out all night, alternating running down the alley and yelling from the window). My husband got up and told them to listen up. The kids froze. I guess they thought the young white kids were going to let them walk all over them forever. One of the adults was further down the alley and they called him over.

My husband told him that the harassment needed to stop. The man was huffy and puffing out his chest. Why? I don't know. We've never so much as had words with him. I've said hi to one of the adult ladies several times and was only met with blank stares. I don't know what we've ever done to piss any of them off. I wasn't about to start a deep, meaningful conversation and question the household's parenting skills. We were just letting them know that we weren't going to take it anymore.

"Why wasn't I told?" the guy kept interrupting.

"I'm telling you right now!" said my husband. I mean, seriously, duh.

The guy finally backed down. "Oh, well then that's cool."

And to my amazement, he (mostly calmly, which was unexpected) talked to the kids and told them to knock it off.

Is it finally over? We'll see. If those kids so much as utter a sound in my direction I'm marching my ass over there again. And if it happens one more time I'm filing harassment charges. I hope to hell it doesn't come to that.

All I'm asking is to live and let live.

The planet is a lot less funny today

George Carlin died last night.

:(

Things things things

I stopped out at Peavey Plaza again at lunchtime to check out the Colleen and the Boys broadcast. Got some great sun. I'm a shoe-in for skin cancer. I really need to go buy some sunscreen.

Summer is foodie season! I'm going to get really creative with dinners. Yay for the farmer's market! Yay for trips to Surdyks!

For the last two days I have been jogging after work. Me. Jogging. Again. Didn't I learn from last time I spent the summer running and ended up with shin splints so bad I actually went to the doctor to check for stress fractures? Evidently not. So yeah, I'm jogging again. On the other hand, my current neighborhood is hilly, but none of the hills I've been jogging on are anything like that giant hill of shin death going down to Loring Park. I might make it through okay. I'm also being smart this time and doing 2 days on, 1 day off.

I want a new tattoo. Now.

Did, doing, do

We went to the Twins game on Tuesday night. Man, that one went by fast.

My lunchtime walk yesterday took me to a different part of town than I usually visit. I ended up walking down and back on the south side of the Hennepin Avenue Bridge, which I really should do more often. My husband and I took our engagement photos there with the Grain Belt sign in the background. I really should get those pictures scanned in. We were planning on getting one of them blown up and framed. We both wore our Wild jerseys with our names on the back. In the picture we are walking away from the camera hand-in-hand and the Grain Belt sign is in all its glory in the background. Aww.

I took the dogs for a very short run last night after work. I just wanted to keep running and running but I was under a time crunch. This is odd because I've never been much of a runner.

Husband's uncle, aunt, and cousin are in town from Colorado. The rest of the week and weekend will be full of touristy goodness.

It's our fourth wedding anniversary today! I don't know how he puts up with my stupid crap day after day. The man deserves a medal.

You know what I wish I had? A common-sense gun. Much like the Point-Of-View Gun from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it would be able to instill an instantaneous and permanent onset of common sense at its target. Actually, get me a wide-angle lense for that sucker. No, better yet, mount it on a satellite and aim it at the whole planet.

READ THIS NOW

Addicted to War: Why the U.S. Can't Kick Militarism

You can read the entire book online. Do it.

Monday already?

Now that I think about it, I really did get a lot accomplished this weekend.

Friday we had an impromptu cookout with friends. Saturday I put up a simple fence around the garden so the dogs can't dig up my future sustenance anymore. It actually turned out really nice, considering it was just bamboo poles, plastic poultry fencing, and twist ties. I had a minor morality issue with buying the plastic fencing over the regular metal chicken wire, but having worked with and drawn much blood by the regular stuff I decided to go the non-green route. The packaging said that it's supposedly recyclable so I'll hang on to that. I still have to get a couple of bags of garden soil to finish filling in some of the dog holes but overall the garden looks pretty great.

I also moved two tables and a full box of free stuff out to the curb. By the end of the day 90% of the stuff was gone. It's amazing the things people will take when you put a free sign on it. Plastic travel soap dish? Seriously? OK, cool. I just hope that someone takes the old birdcage sometime this week.

Dan and I were sitting by the fire pit that night around 10:30 when there were some flashes of lightning and a couple of raindrops. All of the sudden out of nowhere the wind kicked up like crazy and we had to rush to bring in what was left of the free pile. I was sure some of the giant oak trees on the next block over were going down. Thankfully the wind just got a few stray branches that didn't get knocked down in last week's storm (or the week before's).

Yesterday was Father's Day. My dad said that all that he wanted was for everyone to go to his airplane hangar and clean things up so that he can get one of his 4.75 (non-working) planes in the air. So that's what we did. And we even scrubbed the fuselage of Cessna #1. Then we went back to my parents' place and stuffed ourselves, watched golf (I fell asleep), and played golf on the Wii.

YES, CAPN UNDAPANTZ, I WENT TO MERCADO CENTRAL AND GOT SOME TORTILLAS.

Oh my, and what amazing tortillas they are. I got a package of 36 ($1!) and also got a tostada to go (delicioso!). Dan got a Cuban at Manny's, as is his tradition. I think I ate four or five tortillas straight out of the bag between Minneapolis and the hangar. I put together some fish and shrimp tacos. My sister-in-law made bulgogi skewers (I took some of the bulgogi sauce and put it on some seitan for me… yum!), veggie, turkey, and ham roll-ups; fruit salad, and dessert. We were all stuffed. Now we've got a ton of tortillas left over so I think I might make my own tostadas tonight.

I feel very behind on things online right now. Since it's summer I don't feel bad. ^_^

Foodblogging: Rhubarb Upside-Down Cake

Wait, that's not rhubarb upside-down cake. That's the salad I had for dinner last night. I was craving a giant salad (yes, that's a mixing bowl. And yes, it was all for me.) so I picked up a couple different types of lettuce, some spinach, a pint of strawberries, crumbled feta, and poppyseed dressing. It hit the spot.

But onto the main event. When I was at the store I picked up some rhubarb. It may be the biggest rhubarb I've ever seen. I told my husband that you could probably beat someone to death with this mutant rhubarb.

(Finger for scale)

I was originally planning on making muffins or cupcakes but I kept coming back to this recipe. While this was baking it filled the house with the most obnoxiously delicious aroma of cinnamon and fruit and sin.

You start off by soaking 1/2 cup oats in 2/3 cup boiling water while you prepare everything else. The recipe called for quick oats but I had old fashioned so I just let them sit longer. The cake turned out just fine.

Mix 2 tablespoons melted butter and 1/3 cup sugar in an 8x8 baking dish. Put 2 cups of chopped rhubarb on top of this and set aside.


This is a boring picture. It's a medium bowl in which I have mixed 1 cup flour, 1 tsp baking powder, 1/4 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, and 1/4 tsp salt.

Here are the wet ingredients. Why is sugar always a wet ingredient? I have no idea. But you mix 2/3 cup sugar, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1 egg, and 1/4 cup oil in a large bowl.


Add the flour mixture and the soaked oats and stir until juuuuuust combined. Lumps and white streaks are OK.

Pour this mess over your rhubarb and bake in a 350 degree F oven for 50 minutes.

This is why I don't bake more often. I feel like I have to clean EVERY DAMN DISH in my kitchen afterwards.


After you pull the cake out of the oven and let it cool for 10 minutes, put a serving plate (or an old, mismatched orphan plate) on top of it and carefully invert. It's an upside-down cake, remember? Some of the rhubarb stuck to the pan so I just scraped it out and plopped it back on top.

This is why I should bake more often. This would be AWESOME with whipped cream or vanilla frozen yogurt, or perhaps fresh cream whipped with a touch of Cointreau and cinnamon.

Full recipe at Better Homes & Gardens.

Oh yeah, I forgot

I wasn't very excited about the Olympics until I remembered...

BEACH VOLLEYBALL.

Hell yeah.

Foodblogging: Vegetarian Calzones

This is a recipe that has been stewing in my collection for a long time. For some reason I'm hesitant about recipes involving yeast. I'm not sure why; I've never fucked up a loaf of bread in my life. So here you go -- another foodblog with step-by-step (almost) instructions.

Here are most the ingredients assembled: 2 cups cheese (I used Colby because that's what we had and it's nummy), 1 bunch of broccoli cut into small florets, 1 small diced onion, 1 diced clove of garlic, 1 thinly sliced medium carrot, 1 chopped red bell pepper, about a tablespoon of chopped parsley, simple pizza dough, and a few leaves of basil finely chopped. I also used 1 egg, some shredded Parmesan, salt and pepper, and crushed red pepper.

I'm going to skip some pictures because I assume you've all seen garlic and onion being cooked until soft in a pan. I also assume that you've blanched carrot and/or broccoli in boiling water for a minute and a half until they are crisp-tender. The basic building blocks of cooking make for boring photography.

To make the dough, combine 3 cups of flour, 1 teaspoon each salt and sugar, and 1 packet of yeast. Add a cup of hot or boiling water (no need to worry about killing off too much yeast since we're not looking for a good rise), cover, and let sit while you prepare the filling.

Put all the veggies, cheese, and herbs in a large bowl and mix well. Season with salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper. Maybe some oregano would be nice. Whatever you like.

Divide the dough into four parts and roll them each out to about an 8" diameter circle. Plop down as much filling as you dare on half of the circles, leaving a 1" border around the edge. Pull the free dough over to form a semi-circle (duh, it's a calzone and we all know what those look like, right?) Seal the edges with water and crimp down with a fork.

I lined two cookie sheets with parchment paper (leftover from my last cookie adventure -- reduce, reuse, recycle!) and put two calzones on each. Brush them with a beaten egg...

... and top with Parmesan cheese. Prick the tops with a fork so they don't blow up. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes. If you use two sheets on two different oven racks like I did, rotate them after 15 minutes.

Et voila! Your calzones are complete. Serve with warm marinara or leftover spaghetti sauce pulled from your freezer.

I had quite a bit of the filling leftover that is going to make fabulous omelettes tomorrow morning.

Delectable Vegetarian Calzones
Source: http://www.vegcooking.com/recipeshow.asp?RequestID=464
PikaPikaChick's additions in italics

Make extras of these filling calzones, and serve them with warm marinara sauce.

For the filling
1 medium carrot, sliced
Broccoli florets from 1 large head of broccoli
1 3/4 cups soy cheese
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 tsp. olive oil
1/2 small yellow onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 Tbsp. chopped fresh parsley
1/8 tsp. black pepper
salt to taste
1 Tbsp chopped fresh basil
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper

For the dough
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. sugar
1 package (or 14 oz.) active dry yeast
1 cup boiling water

• Preheat the oven to 350ºF and spray a baking sheet with vegetable cooking spray.
• Bring 2 quarts of water to a boil over medium heat, add the carrot and broccoli, and cook until crisp but tender, about 1 minute. Drain and rinse under cold water.
• In a large bowl, combine the carrot, broccoli, soy cheese, and red pepper. Mix well.
• In a small saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and sauté until softened, about 3 minutes. Add to the vegetable mixture. Add the parsley and pepper. Mix well.
• For the dough, combine the flour, salt, sugar, and yeast in a large bowl.
• Mix in the boiling water. Divide the dough into 4 balls. Roll each ball into an 8-inch circle.
• Place the filling evenly over half of each circle, leaving a 1-inch border. Fold the dough over the filling and pinch the edges together to seal.
• Place on the prepared baking sheet. Prick the tops with a fork. Bake the calzone until golden brown (about 25 minutes). Serve hot.

Makes 4 servings