Paging Dr. House

It’s hard not to feel like a hypochondriac sometimes.

I’ve always had what I assume is a small, dried out turd where whatever controls my immune system is supposed to be.  Every minor bug that wafts my way infects my system like GIs at a cheap eastern European whorehouse.  I’ve had strep throat dozens of times, ear infections, sinus infections, bronchitis, giardia, and one time I even had the norovirus.

I also grew up being told constantly that I was never sick, that it was all in my head, that there was nothing the matter with me.  Never mind the low-grade fever I often had, or the white spots that appeared on my throat, or the seemingly constant battle with nausea.  My stomach issues got marginally better once I figured out I was lactose intolerant but I was still frequently plagued with problems.  Later in my junior high and high school years this was all compounded by my crippling depression and mental issues.

So now whenever I get sick I always doubt myself first.  If it gets to the point where I have to go to the doctor I feel positively crazy.  I’ve had some terrible doctors in the past that haven’t helped.  Hello, guy who didn’t take my joint problems seriously and caused me to permanently screw up my stomach with Aleve.  Caught a horrible case of H. Pylori after that little episode and I’ve had IBS ever since.

So now I’m having problems again and I’m having a hard time.  Again.  I’ve been dealing with dizzy spells for years.  No big deal, I’m usually dehydrated.  But recently they’ve gotten much, much worse.  Like, almost-passing-out worse.  I’ve been drinking fluids like a horse and eating protein like a champion to no avail.  And what’s even more awesome is that my heart will randomly start beating out of my chest for no good reason when I’m just walking around or standing there.  My anxiety has been almost completely in check and it always happens when I’m not exerting myself.  Cardio and strength training at the gym has been going fine.  So that’s worrisome enough for me that I went to the doctor.

I need you. For, um, medical reasons.

My EKG at the doctor’s office was fine but that only means that it was fine at that particular moment.  Everything else checked out.  My doctor had no explanation for me but told me if my heart does its palpitation dance again I should go to urgent care or an ER and that I should call him so he can send me to a heart specialist.  Greeeeaaaat.  He prescribed me something for my dizzy thing and said to me, no kidding, “This is used for dizziness. It’s an antihistamine but it helps.  We have no idea why but we use it anyway.”

I’m not thrilled about taking pills for this (up to 3 a day!), especially when they can make me drowsy, and especially especially when nobody can come up with a good reason for why they work.

But yesterday, when I spent a good portion of my afternoon being constantly dizzy, I was forced to reconsider my stance.  I guess the mystery will continue until I have a heart attack or pass out.