Don't know what to think

I got the results of my H. pylori test back today. It was negative.

This is……. Not good news?

H. pylori would be easy to fix. Take the two antibiotics, be miserably horribly sick for two weeks, and then go about my life.

Now? I don't know. Given my symptoms, H. pylori appears to be the lesser of the evils. Now I'm just waiting for a phone call from someone to tell me what to do next. I have a feeling they're going to suggest an endoscopy, which scares me because the last time I had one of those I woke up in the middle of the procedure and freaked out.

I'm starting to question myself. I was always accused by my parents of making up illnesses when I was growing up and that self-doubt still lingers. Yeah right, I love paying huge medical bills. :(

So right now I still can't eat without pain, can't really walk all that well, can't skate at all. I'm cranky and miserable and taking it out on everyone around me. So I feel guilty too, which makes me feel worse.