Always wanting what I can’t have

I am over 5 months pregnant and I have never wanted to ski so much as I do now.  I mean, we’ve been in the ski capital of the US for over a year and we haven’t even so much as set foot on a slope yet, not that Husband would anyway, and I used to ski quite a bit in my youth.

By “quite a bit” I mean I’d go down Buck Hill once, maybe twice, before deciding that being cold really sucks and spend the next 1-2 hours in the chalet with hot cocoa by the fire, then maybe once or twice down the hill again before my parents picked me up from ski club, but it was more skiing than I’ve done in the last decade or so.

I’d like to get Lily out on some skis in the next year or so.  Maybe a snowboard.  Maybe we could take lessons together.  I realize that mountain skiing is quite a bit different than Minnesota skiing and I’ll basically be starting over.

I admit that what I really want to do is rent a private chalet with a wooden hot tub on a private deck overlooking the mountains.  But I’d go down the mountain once or twice.

Do you know how hard it is to write when your hormones are raging with all the fury of gestation?

Lily and I had the day off yesterday so we went and looked at some beds.  She’s in her convertible crib in toddler bed mode so we’ll either need another convertible crib or just a regular bed before September or October.  We’re leaning toward a regular bed unless we can find a truly bitchin’ deal on a convertible, but we’ll need to buy a full size mattress either way.  So now we need to figure out if we want to go to Ikea or American Furniture Warehouse.  Ugh, grown-up decisions.

I had one close call with a panic attack at work last week but other than that I’ve been feeling OK.  What’s weird is that the physical part of the attacks have hit first and the mental part hasn’t been as much as a problem.  So are these actual panic attacks?  I don’t know.  It certainly feels that way.  I hope this is the last I see of them.  I really don’t want to have to go back on medication, though Lexapro wasn’t as bad as all of the other meds I’ve tried in my lifetime.

Also, in the last hour we have decided that if we get approved for a rental duplex that just showed up in my inbox we’re totally breaking our lease and moving immediately.  So that’s exciting.