An important problem for our nation's women today

They don't put pockets on women's dress pants.

This is a problem.  A real issue.

Clothing manufacturers are clearly under the impression that women don't need to carry shit around.  They must all assume that everyone with a vagina carries a purse around with them all day every day.  Because obviously women, like most Apple fans, are only concerned with form over function.  Why would women need pockets when all we do is type dictation and make coffee, am I right, guys?

Sorry.  I didn't mean to go all militant feminist on you there.

Take this scenario with which I was just presented in my actual life:

• I'm hungry.  I also need to pee.  The vending machine is on the opposite side of the building right next to the women's bathroom.  How convenient!  Let me just grab some change.
• OK, I can either bring the change with me into the bathroom or get my pretzels first and bring those into the bathroom.
• If I bring the change into the bathroom I'll have to set it down somewhere.  I'll have to remember to retrieve my change after I wash my hands.  The change that I set down in the bathroom.  The germy, nasty bathroom.
• If I bring my pretzels into the bathroom with me, they'll need to go on that germy, nasty bathroom surface.
• Either way I'll have to wash my hands a second time before I eat my pretzels.*

To add to this pocketless injustice, I have to carry around my keycard and my Blackberry at all times**.  Having no lower pocket to clip the Blackberry to I am forced to put it on my waistband or belt.  This causes my shirts to do this:

Don't tell me to tuck in my shirt.  One, I don’t tuck in my shirts.  Two, nearly all of my shirts were not made for tucking.  So I walk around with the weird bunched up shirt thing or I pull the shirt down over the Blackberry and it looks like I've got a tumor on my hip.

On a related note, I have a pair of pants that the manufacturer actually took the time to put pockets on, real pockets and everything, but sewed the pocket holes shut.  WHAT IN THE FUCK.

*Having just recovered from a pretty serious stomach flu situation this is mandatory.
**Yes, I realize clipping my Blackberry to my waist is dorky, but I'm paid to be a geek so shut up.