WTF, fashion industry?

I normally fail at shopping. I don't like spending money, especially on myself. I don't like crowds either. But the worst part is that I usually have a very specific image in my mind about what article of clothing I'm looking for and I never find it.

I've been looking for a dress that is basically this or this, only in black. I wanted a dress that a) had a circle skirt, b) didn't reveal too much boob, c) had sleeves, d) had a knee-length or mid-thigh length skirt and e) could be worn at work. Oh, and f) was less than $50.

Ladies and gentlemen, this dress does not exist in real life. Believe me, I've been looking for three months now.

But the MNRG Wheelies are fast approching and I needed a dress so I found a reasonable approximation of The Perfect Dress at Ragstock last night. It's black with small white polka dots (which will greatly please Dottie) but has a bit of what you might call a sluttyplunging neckline. I can still wear it to work if I find a chamisole to wear under it.

But oh horror, I didn't have shoes to go with it. Just kidding -- I do, but I wanted new shoes. Because I'm such a girl about shoes. I love shoes now.

This is where the WTF comes in. ALL THE SHOES ARE BORING NOW. Can a girl get a pair of brightly-colored kitten heels? Not anymore, because I bought the only remaining pair on the planet last night at Payless. Every other shoe right now is black, white, brown, or beige. IT'S SPRING, PEOPLE! Bring on the color! Bring on the embellishments! Bring on the sparklies!

What's more, EVERYTHING IS BORING NOW. Even the jewelry is black, white, brown, and beige. I'm all about natural colors, but COME ON.

Americans are boring. Example: compare the everyday dress of Indian women to American women. Boring, boring, boring America.